Hey people...! Happy New years to you all!!
All i can say is what a day..from starting until now..what a friggin day,.
This morning started off rough..got up...6:00 am ready to leave. Had to use my husbands car being that mine is temporarly in the shop...so got out there...start it up...reverse...stalls..."damn i say"
try again...start it up...reverse...stalls"ok now i am getting mad"
One more time..start it up..reverse...STALLS!! GOD DAMN..now i am swearing like there is no tomorrow!!!
then the door wouldn't shut.."for Christ sake"..slam it ..slam it..slam it...finally door catches and shuts..and then to end it all, i look down at my hand and notice I have got all this thick white oil that looked like lard and smelt like some disgusting cheap perfume, which my husband decided to put on the door to keep the latch from freezing(because sometimes he thinks hes a mechanic ya right ),all over my hand..NICE I'M THINKING...THIS IS GREAT!
SO I GIVE UP!!!..get out of the car...come back in the house SLAM the door..and i am NOT HAPPY..not happy at all!!!
SO, I am just thinking to myself, Today I am suppose to tackle my new routine..and yet...i don't have a car to go to the gym with.ISN'T THIS JUST MY LUCKY DAY!!
Too much snow to bike there..buses not sure..haven't taken a bus in years..so i chose to call my good ol dad...:-)
so dad came..gave me a lift..and there i was ..finally 2 hours later, still no breakfast, and ready to tackle my new routine..took a breather and started.
First of all the new balance thing i am doing..made me laugh..we have changed it a little and I am higher than usual..so it was quite funny..people probably wondering what in the world is this girl up to now...but i continued. Its all good..trust in my trainer is what he tells me ..so i just continue on even though i probably looked like i was practicing for the part in titanic..where they are at the bow of the ship. LOL
Next I started on my other exercise which was going fantastic..till i felt my knee crack..."uuuuuu" i thought..that cant be good shaking my head..so i had to wait..and then once I continued, and changed my position a bit,..it was ok. But in the meantime, i just didn't want to look like fool cause i was sure all eyes were on me..lol so i had no choice but to continue.
And then for my workout..my gosh...talk about a laugh...so there I was ...going from one exercise to another..and i sware i felt as though there was music in the background to rocky or some crazy ass person...and here i was the star of the show!!
SO here i am jumping from one thing to another..one minute I'm on the floor..another I'm doing legs..another doing arms..oh my god..i was laughing my head off...just thinking about what these other people must be thinking. Not to mention My trainer tells me to do this all 4 times.lol
Then to top it all off...when i am doing my push ups..my boob decided to fall out of my sports bra..and thank god i noticed before i turned around to face everyone.(cause today i decided to wear my white shirt..which is a little revealing if this sort of thing happens)..so i fixed it all back up..and then that was worrying me thinking oh my god what if it falls out again..so running around i was constantly feeling to make sure it was up..didn't look too good i guess.lol
I guess i will not be buying a sports bra from a store like zellers ever again..ha
things we do to save money./
Anyways,,it was just so funny. the whole thing was hilarious. i felt ridiculous, and just insane.
I felt good when it was all over...and kinda happy. It was quite the rush from the previous program..and i really think i am going to love it later.
Oh and one more thing..when i was cooling off on the bike(of course just smiling thinking of what i had just been through) this little chubby guy who was on a weight machine for legs..god bless him,..decided to sneeze so huge...and all over this hand...and then just gives it a quick wipe onto his clothes..and continues on..touching the machine...and it just made me think...hm...i see now why i am always getting sick lately...lol
And that is my episode at the gym today.
I never laughed so hard...but i just feel GREAT!
And... i am proud to say that I have reached 30 pounds in my weight loss now.
talk soon
C.W.H.T.I
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday Dec 31st New Years eve,,,A day at the gym with me..something you would see on the comedy network!!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Sunday December 30th 2007...CRAZY THINGS I DO TO REMIND ME OF CHANGE!!:-)
SO, I got through Christmas, and i really do think that will be the hardest thing for a while. Feel like i am clear sailing now.
Things have been going fairly well. I am seeing I believe big differences in my body..and also in my strength. I actually have muscles now in my arms, and when i flex i am really proud of them! Lots of hard work to even get those :-)
The other night my trainer and I met up at the gym to take photos with the news paper dude!(Ottawa Sun, January 2nd*edition reminder)
My trainer afterwards went through my BRAND NEW ROUTINE, I am so excited!!! BUT scared too. Seems a little bit harder than the last, its a faster pace routine, different exercises all together, and rest times are less, so its more GO GO GO..I'm like...OKKKKKK!!!
IT was funny cause following my trainer at the gym around I was like..hey slow down!!!..NO!!... lets GO!!! ..quick!!..he was fast walking..(which was like running for me) ..kind of funny.
Sometimes we laugh alot together, but you need to laugh, cant be serious all the time.(at least i see it that way) Life would be so boring if everyone was serious..and laughing makes you feel so good!!!ha:-)))
Not sure about him,...(but i always like to laugh..always see me smiling or laughing)I'm just like that...good ol' me.(somethings never change)
but its all good..he says "do whatever, and I DO IT!!!!" and have total trust in him with his 15 years of experience in the field(both bodybuilding and training)..that's the name of the game these days.
One thing i have decided to do throughout this process of change, is to every month or so, to just make some change besides my weight ..just to keep me focused that i am changing, some drastic which i am about to mention below,and some not so drastic. Because, it is a long process here, it helps just to keep it interesting at the same time you know.
So last month i had my hair done.I had it coloured and a nice cut. You know nothing crazy..but again change....
but you know, I have almost already hit my 2 month mark!!! Hard to believe and I decided to do something really crazy.
I visited a local tattoo place. Ya you know those places that cause people to have heart palpitations! That's right!
I know you can say it i am nuts. Alot of times i work on spur of the moment ideas and actions. I have always been this way, i have always been the crazy one in my family out of all the kids. Not totally crazy..just never was like the average girl who thought like the rest..or was like a sheep to follow the rest either.
SO anyways..getting back to the tattoo parlor
I decided to get a nose pierce done..HA(not crazy enough for tattoo)
did it hurt..crazy for one second or two i suppose..but now I am sporting this brand new little stud diamond on the side of my nose..and it looks hot!!I am so proud of myself and happy that I did it! It gives me that certain edge but its pretty.
I'm in the doghouse right now because of it:-(((((((...my husband didn't like it at all. But its just something that i really thought would be perfect to represent the hardships of getting where i am today, but yet the beauty of getting through it, and i must say I love it!
Not sure what I am going to be coming up with next, but i do know..you will always most certainly hear about it!! My good ol friends.
So ..tomorrow i am going to weigh myself, because i do realize with everything going on..i forgot last Monday...so see you all tomorrow for the drum roll!
C.W.H.T.I
Things have been going fairly well. I am seeing I believe big differences in my body..and also in my strength. I actually have muscles now in my arms, and when i flex i am really proud of them! Lots of hard work to even get those :-)
The other night my trainer and I met up at the gym to take photos with the news paper dude!(Ottawa Sun, January 2nd*edition reminder)
My trainer afterwards went through my BRAND NEW ROUTINE, I am so excited!!! BUT scared too. Seems a little bit harder than the last, its a faster pace routine, different exercises all together, and rest times are less, so its more GO GO GO..I'm like...OKKKKKK!!!
IT was funny cause following my trainer at the gym around I was like..hey slow down!!!..NO!!... lets GO!!! ..quick!!..he was fast walking..(which was like running for me) ..kind of funny.
Sometimes we laugh alot together, but you need to laugh, cant be serious all the time.(at least i see it that way) Life would be so boring if everyone was serious..and laughing makes you feel so good!!!ha:-)))
Not sure about him,...(but i always like to laugh..always see me smiling or laughing)I'm just like that...good ol' me.(somethings never change)
but its all good..he says "do whatever, and I DO IT!!!!" and have total trust in him with his 15 years of experience in the field(both bodybuilding and training)..that's the name of the game these days.
One thing i have decided to do throughout this process of change, is to every month or so, to just make some change besides my weight ..just to keep me focused that i am changing, some drastic which i am about to mention below,and some not so drastic. Because, it is a long process here, it helps just to keep it interesting at the same time you know.
So last month i had my hair done.I had it coloured and a nice cut. You know nothing crazy..but again change....
but you know, I have almost already hit my 2 month mark!!! Hard to believe and I decided to do something really crazy.
I visited a local tattoo place. Ya you know those places that cause people to have heart palpitations! That's right!
I know you can say it i am nuts. Alot of times i work on spur of the moment ideas and actions. I have always been this way, i have always been the crazy one in my family out of all the kids. Not totally crazy..just never was like the average girl who thought like the rest..or was like a sheep to follow the rest either.
SO anyways..getting back to the tattoo parlor
I decided to get a nose pierce done..HA(not crazy enough for tattoo)
did it hurt..crazy for one second or two i suppose..but now I am sporting this brand new little stud diamond on the side of my nose..and it looks hot!!I am so proud of myself and happy that I did it! It gives me that certain edge but its pretty.
I'm in the doghouse right now because of it:-(((((((...my husband didn't like it at all. But its just something that i really thought would be perfect to represent the hardships of getting where i am today, but yet the beauty of getting through it, and i must say I love it!
Not sure what I am going to be coming up with next, but i do know..you will always most certainly hear about it!! My good ol friends.
So ..tomorrow i am going to weigh myself, because i do realize with everything going on..i forgot last Monday...so see you all tomorrow for the drum roll!
C.W.H.T.I
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Tuesday December 25th Christmas day...4 more HOURS left till I come face to face with the Christmas feast!!
Hey everyone. Hope that everybody is enjoying their Christmas day. I just wanted to say that I have made up my mind, on what I am going to do regarding dinner tonight with the family. However I am not going to reveal it just yet.
I chose to do what I am about to do regarding the dinner, because I felt that this was the best decision for myself. And, that it only made perfect sense to me. NOT EVEN my trainer knows exactly what my decision is. All he knows is that my emotional state hasn't been the greatest. We have exchanged a few emails however regarding tonight, and all I know, is that, the dinner tonight is going to be amazing!! He has given me the OK, to eat a good meal if I feel like I need to, said to me to remember to just eat for one and not for two, and basically stay away from junk..meaning chocolate...lol that's funny rob..as if??..ha
I, have to look forward to, facing a dinner with the family, that consists of... cannelloni, meatballs, breaded chicken cutlets, salad, and I believe that we are also going to all be able to have turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, veggies, lots of chocolates, vanilla cake, more deserts like my moms pies,wine, coke,assorted peanuts, and god knows whatever else. This is what being Italian is all about I suppose. Food OVERLOAD with all great healthy choices to make...NOT!!
But, my mind IS set, and i am ready to go through it. I will let you all know what i chose to do later on when I get back home, and let you also know how i feel after the fact regarding the decision I made, and how i basically am feeling in general.
I am making a promise to myself, that I will not regret what I choose tonight, and to remember that, the next day, the sun will shine once again, and Christmas will have come and gone.
I CAN tell you however, that this has been so extremely hard on me!! I have probably been thinking about what was I going to do for the last 3 days. Going back and forth with decisions.. thinking of the pros and cons,no wonder, I have had emotional breakdowns!!..Not to mention all this Christmas preparing, stress shopping, and foods, and choices, have all had a big impact on why I have been feeling the way I have.
I cant even explain, but I will say this is the first time that I found Christmas so hard. The MOST DIFFICULT time during this transformation journey so far. I have even found myself crying more...even when writing emails to my trainer.
But, this is part of life, the life of someone that is going to make a difference, someone that is looking to inspire, and who has chosen to make this journey public, so everyone can follow along, and also know ,what I am going through while trying to get to the finish line. So I cannot be fake, I have to stay real and continue being honest with all of you.
SO, i will finish this blog for now until later on, when i get back home, from "the dinner"where I will then reveal what i decided to do, and in that case,,,what i have done...so...this blog will be concluded later....
*Thanks so much for everyone reading my blog, following my story, it means so much to me that I have so many people around the world interested in following me through this, and all i know is in the end you will not be able to say that I didn't give it my best shot...
One more thing, and this is to my trainer...
" I would NEVER, be where I am, right now, if it weren't for YOU. You are like MY angel, who has come along to save ME. Already, in just a short period of time, you have made me see, that there is a way to change, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Most importantly, you have also given back to me the "hope", which was once lost.
Although its been hard, not to mention a whole new learning experience, in just 7 weeks, I have changed, both physically, and emotionally, so much!!! You have been my strength.... you have inspired me..... and, you are such a kind hearted person, that I cannot help, but feel, so fortunate to have you once again in my life, after losing contact for many years. I am so lucky to have YOU by my side, one of the best!! You have given me all the tools I need, by teaching me, all your secrets from your own knowledge, to conquer this demon, once and for all.
This has been a really tough starting journey, but with you next to me, (not always physically), but knowing, that you are always there in the background, cheering me on, and that you genuinely care.. have faith in me, (that I can do it, where others may have not), makes it a little easier and keeps me smiling.
Thank you for reading my emails, for caring, and responding to me so quickly when in need
:-).. for all the phone calls, and checkups...and most importantly for just being you. In the end, I hope to make us both proud at the finish line, saying we DID IT, and, that we did it RIGHT!
That we can show an example to so many others, who might also have lost hope...to allow them to see that everyone, can make a change, and its all about making a choice, and sticking to it, even when it seems impossible!
I will NEVER forget what you are doing for me, and I will always be forever greatful.
talk soon....
C.W.H.T.I
I chose to do what I am about to do regarding the dinner, because I felt that this was the best decision for myself. And, that it only made perfect sense to me. NOT EVEN my trainer knows exactly what my decision is. All he knows is that my emotional state hasn't been the greatest. We have exchanged a few emails however regarding tonight, and all I know, is that, the dinner tonight is going to be amazing!! He has given me the OK, to eat a good meal if I feel like I need to, said to me to remember to just eat for one and not for two, and basically stay away from junk..meaning chocolate...lol that's funny rob..as if??..ha
I, have to look forward to, facing a dinner with the family, that consists of... cannelloni, meatballs, breaded chicken cutlets, salad, and I believe that we are also going to all be able to have turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, veggies, lots of chocolates, vanilla cake, more deserts like my moms pies,wine, coke,assorted peanuts, and god knows whatever else. This is what being Italian is all about I suppose. Food OVERLOAD with all great healthy choices to make...NOT!!
But, my mind IS set, and i am ready to go through it. I will let you all know what i chose to do later on when I get back home, and let you also know how i feel after the fact regarding the decision I made, and how i basically am feeling in general.
I am making a promise to myself, that I will not regret what I choose tonight, and to remember that, the next day, the sun will shine once again, and Christmas will have come and gone.
I CAN tell you however, that this has been so extremely hard on me!! I have probably been thinking about what was I going to do for the last 3 days. Going back and forth with decisions.. thinking of the pros and cons,no wonder, I have had emotional breakdowns!!..Not to mention all this Christmas preparing, stress shopping, and foods, and choices, have all had a big impact on why I have been feeling the way I have.
I cant even explain, but I will say this is the first time that I found Christmas so hard. The MOST DIFFICULT time during this transformation journey so far. I have even found myself crying more...even when writing emails to my trainer.
But, this is part of life, the life of someone that is going to make a difference, someone that is looking to inspire, and who has chosen to make this journey public, so everyone can follow along, and also know ,what I am going through while trying to get to the finish line. So I cannot be fake, I have to stay real and continue being honest with all of you.
SO, i will finish this blog for now until later on, when i get back home, from "the dinner"where I will then reveal what i decided to do, and in that case,,,what i have done...so...this blog will be concluded later....
*Thanks so much for everyone reading my blog, following my story, it means so much to me that I have so many people around the world interested in following me through this, and all i know is in the end you will not be able to say that I didn't give it my best shot...
One more thing, and this is to my trainer...
" I would NEVER, be where I am, right now, if it weren't for YOU. You are like MY angel, who has come along to save ME. Already, in just a short period of time, you have made me see, that there is a way to change, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Most importantly, you have also given back to me the "hope", which was once lost.
Although its been hard, not to mention a whole new learning experience, in just 7 weeks, I have changed, both physically, and emotionally, so much!!! You have been my strength.... you have inspired me..... and, you are such a kind hearted person, that I cannot help, but feel, so fortunate to have you once again in my life, after losing contact for many years. I am so lucky to have YOU by my side, one of the best!! You have given me all the tools I need, by teaching me, all your secrets from your own knowledge, to conquer this demon, once and for all.
This has been a really tough starting journey, but with you next to me, (not always physically), but knowing, that you are always there in the background, cheering me on, and that you genuinely care.. have faith in me, (that I can do it, where others may have not), makes it a little easier and keeps me smiling.
Thank you for reading my emails, for caring, and responding to me so quickly when in need
:-).. for all the phone calls, and checkups...and most importantly for just being you. In the end, I hope to make us both proud at the finish line, saying we DID IT, and, that we did it RIGHT!
That we can show an example to so many others, who might also have lost hope...to allow them to see that everyone, can make a change, and its all about making a choice, and sticking to it, even when it seems impossible!
I will NEVER forget what you are doing for me, and I will always be forever greatful.
talk soon....
C.W.H.T.I
To be continued tonight........
Ok, so i am back home. Its now 9:54p.m. Christmas night, and must say, actually kind of relieved to be back at home tonight so that I could continue this blog. Tonight was a tough one, the food was just as I thought amazing, smelt great, looked great and not to mention lots of it!!
Anyways, honestly, I knew that I had my mind made up before hand that "I WAS NOT"..I repeat "WAS NOT".. going to have any of it!! So you can all be relieved..smiles:-)
I hope I scared everyone, cause God only knows I scared myself. I was oh so close in giving in for Christmas. Besides its the perfect excuse to do so.
Anyways, I did fantastic, I beat the odds..not even one bite!. How do I feel...i feel wonderful. I have never had this kind of power over myself in such a long time, perhaps never actually. And because I beat this tonight, I am sure it will help me down the line when facing another battle!
It actually didn't bother me at all! I passed on everything including the actual sweet stuff. All this anxiety that I had for the last few days, on thoughts of should I or shouldn't I eat it, how will i be able to pass on that stuff..was i ready to pass on it..would i get weak...and really it was all for nothing. I suppose my trainer has trained me well:)
Its all a mind thing I guess. My body is so used to the good stuff now, that I am used to taking it in as well. I actually enjoy my own food.
I am not going to lie, up until this morning, I was soooo going to go nuts on everything tonight. Not sure why? Maybe because it would have made things so much easier to just give in.
But after speaking to one of my sisters (God bless her)and really talking about it this afternoon..i was like, you know what..your right ..not even worth it! She gave me that last bit of courage that I believe I really needed to look at it from a different point of view.
I have a transformation project that i need to complete!! And not even Christmas is going to stop me from getting to my goal....there is always next Christmas where I am sure i will be enjoying all the great foods...but right now, I am just striving to be my best, both physically and emotionally, and going back to negative eating, even on a day like today would not have helped me at all, so therefore there was no point in going down that path tonight, why? For one night? Doesn't make any sense when i have been pushing my body for the last 7 weeks to be totally opposite. All those mornings in the gym at 6am, my cardio being 100 times better than when i started..the strength in my body compared to when i first began..NO WAY!!
Nothing is going to stop me from reaching for what I want, I can smell it coming, and feel it coming in my gut!!! And you know what...I DESERVE THIS!!
High fives everyone:-))))))))
C.W.H.T.I
hugs and kisses for everyone!!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
2 more nights to decide what ever am i going to do about christmas dinner??
Hey Everyone. thought this was a good time to do some blogging cause i have something that i am fighting with.
Well i was safe from having Christmas dinner until mom called us all and said we are going ahead with the Christmas dinner despite the 2 deaths that we had to deal with recently.
So, starting tonight i have been really thinking about what am i going to do.
(1) Am i going to indulge for the one night?
(or)
(2) Am i going to stay away and just eat my own foods?
Its a very difficult decision and let me explain why.
Reasons why I should eat at Christmas..
-I have been doing so extremely well, that personally i know weight wise, one night would not hurt me.
-I have been so strong and have kept up with my challenge to change my body, not cheating once in 7 weeks that I think i deserve to have one night of whatever i want.
- I am going to have to do this later on, sooner or later..i cannot be afraid of the odd day that comes up such as birthdays, anniversaries,new years, Christmas, i mean i am only human. I just have to learn to control.
- I should just do it, just to do it at Christmas, get it out of my system, and get back on track the next day starting with the gym in the morning.
------------------------------------------
But these are the reason why i feel i shouldn't...
1- what if that one taste brings back those evil cravings again, what if i cannot regain control, and all of a sudden i get weak.
2-What if i cannot stop. (And I have to ask myself do i really want to even try this)? To perhaps allow my body to start all over again with those terrible cravings for chocolate, pastas breads..fried stuff, sweet stuff cakes MCDONALD's lol
What to do??? i don't know what i am going to do. All i know is either way that night is not going to be a good one. Because i might have to face all my family eating and i will be eating my own stuff, or, i might deal with it, eat for that one night, and then deal with feelings of guilt, and who knows how my body will physically react to it, perhaps get sick...all for that one night of indulging.
And tonight i am thinking about it so much, that in turn its making me want chocolate and all those foods I know will be there all of a sudden. Life really sucks sometimes!
And it was funny i went to McDonald's the other day with my mom, while Christmas shopping, and i brought my own food there for lunch...and at first i was really proud and i thought, this is great to have control over myself for once, my being, I mean to not let those foods get a hold of me and ruin me like they once did. I mean who do you know brings their own chicken sandwich to McDonald's?? I don't know any!lol
But then, I looked around, and i realized i started getting mad watching everyone eat big macs and fries, and all that stuff. I don't know why. I was so mad! And from being happy, i was getting this face on me of just anger. Why do i have this problem, why cant i be one of those people that can just eat and eat and eat and not gain a pound. Anyways, weird, i think all this Christmas stuff is just getting to me lately. All this shopping and in our family..especially being Italian, its not the same (Christmas) without the food!lol
everyone looks forward to the food. nevermind the presents.lol
But I have to remember one thing. And that is since i have regained control on what goes in my mouth, its funny because I now have had time to enjoy simple things like watching my own kids eat without wanting more, or in this case nothing of theirs. Sounds strange but its so true. I never did that before because food just takes over your thoughts, and that's all you are thinking about, is yourself eating. Man that is scary when looking back. Today this life, its all about eating all the time.
Now that my head and stomach don't say food all the time, it leaves you with more time to enjoy different little things where before food basically controlled everything!
well.. in the end this is a choice that I am going to have to make myself. No one will make that one for me. All i know is that, no matter what happens, that i will not only tell you all about it..lol
but, that in the end, i will come up on top! Whatever decision I make regarding that night, I will live with it, and the next day will be a whole new day...either way!
I AM going to win this battle, I am going to be a healthy more confident person after all this, I will be so different in the end that people wont even recognize me. I may not even recognize myself!
This is definitely the toughest challenge i have ever had to face in my life. And lately all this thinking, regarding this Christmas feast that i am going to have to confront, I find myself looking in the mirror wondering if i even look smaller like I once thought, cause with all this thinking going on with the thoughts of foods that i haven't had in a long time, i feel like i still look like the same person before losing weight. Isn't that strange how your emotional side can totally change how you perceive yourself like in my case its as if that woman from even before i started is back again! The one who never exercised, the one who ate whatever and did not take responsibility, the one that basically took the easy way out.
All this negative thinking about food etc..its affecting how i am seeing myself as well! Isn't that crazy? But yet its so real, and I believe now, and i think i just realized something new!! when you hit a bump in the road, for whatever reason that might be, you all of a sudden find yourself seeing the OLD you, as you were, when you started, before even losing any weight, and the negative thoughts along with that view, I believe this most probably might be one of the reasons why i and many people ended up failing in the past. You just basically give up, almost like its not worth the hassle, its just so much easier eating whats fast and simple.
But no one said life was easy. And if you want something bad enough..you have to work hard for it! And we all just have to remember ..even though it might feel like its far away right now, its really not, and when done..you will finally be free! And I personally will have fought the demon that got me here in the first place!
C.W.H.T.I
Well i was safe from having Christmas dinner until mom called us all and said we are going ahead with the Christmas dinner despite the 2 deaths that we had to deal with recently.
So, starting tonight i have been really thinking about what am i going to do.
(1) Am i going to indulge for the one night?
(or)
(2) Am i going to stay away and just eat my own foods?
Its a very difficult decision and let me explain why.
Reasons why I should eat at Christmas..
-I have been doing so extremely well, that personally i know weight wise, one night would not hurt me.
-I have been so strong and have kept up with my challenge to change my body, not cheating once in 7 weeks that I think i deserve to have one night of whatever i want.
- I am going to have to do this later on, sooner or later..i cannot be afraid of the odd day that comes up such as birthdays, anniversaries,new years, Christmas, i mean i am only human. I just have to learn to control.
- I should just do it, just to do it at Christmas, get it out of my system, and get back on track the next day starting with the gym in the morning.
------------------------------------------
But these are the reason why i feel i shouldn't...
1- what if that one taste brings back those evil cravings again, what if i cannot regain control, and all of a sudden i get weak.
2-What if i cannot stop. (And I have to ask myself do i really want to even try this)? To perhaps allow my body to start all over again with those terrible cravings for chocolate, pastas breads..fried stuff, sweet stuff cakes MCDONALD's lol
What to do??? i don't know what i am going to do. All i know is either way that night is not going to be a good one. Because i might have to face all my family eating and i will be eating my own stuff, or, i might deal with it, eat for that one night, and then deal with feelings of guilt, and who knows how my body will physically react to it, perhaps get sick...all for that one night of indulging.
And tonight i am thinking about it so much, that in turn its making me want chocolate and all those foods I know will be there all of a sudden. Life really sucks sometimes!
And it was funny i went to McDonald's the other day with my mom, while Christmas shopping, and i brought my own food there for lunch...and at first i was really proud and i thought, this is great to have control over myself for once, my being, I mean to not let those foods get a hold of me and ruin me like they once did. I mean who do you know brings their own chicken sandwich to McDonald's?? I don't know any!lol
But then, I looked around, and i realized i started getting mad watching everyone eat big macs and fries, and all that stuff. I don't know why. I was so mad! And from being happy, i was getting this face on me of just anger. Why do i have this problem, why cant i be one of those people that can just eat and eat and eat and not gain a pound. Anyways, weird, i think all this Christmas stuff is just getting to me lately. All this shopping and in our family..especially being Italian, its not the same (Christmas) without the food!lol
everyone looks forward to the food. nevermind the presents.lol
But I have to remember one thing. And that is since i have regained control on what goes in my mouth, its funny because I now have had time to enjoy simple things like watching my own kids eat without wanting more, or in this case nothing of theirs. Sounds strange but its so true. I never did that before because food just takes over your thoughts, and that's all you are thinking about, is yourself eating. Man that is scary when looking back. Today this life, its all about eating all the time.
Now that my head and stomach don't say food all the time, it leaves you with more time to enjoy different little things where before food basically controlled everything!
well.. in the end this is a choice that I am going to have to make myself. No one will make that one for me. All i know is that, no matter what happens, that i will not only tell you all about it..lol
but, that in the end, i will come up on top! Whatever decision I make regarding that night, I will live with it, and the next day will be a whole new day...either way!
I AM going to win this battle, I am going to be a healthy more confident person after all this, I will be so different in the end that people wont even recognize me. I may not even recognize myself!
This is definitely the toughest challenge i have ever had to face in my life. And lately all this thinking, regarding this Christmas feast that i am going to have to confront, I find myself looking in the mirror wondering if i even look smaller like I once thought, cause with all this thinking going on with the thoughts of foods that i haven't had in a long time, i feel like i still look like the same person before losing weight. Isn't that strange how your emotional side can totally change how you perceive yourself like in my case its as if that woman from even before i started is back again! The one who never exercised, the one who ate whatever and did not take responsibility, the one that basically took the easy way out.
All this negative thinking about food etc..its affecting how i am seeing myself as well! Isn't that crazy? But yet its so real, and I believe now, and i think i just realized something new!! when you hit a bump in the road, for whatever reason that might be, you all of a sudden find yourself seeing the OLD you, as you were, when you started, before even losing any weight, and the negative thoughts along with that view, I believe this most probably might be one of the reasons why i and many people ended up failing in the past. You just basically give up, almost like its not worth the hassle, its just so much easier eating whats fast and simple.
But no one said life was easy. And if you want something bad enough..you have to work hard for it! And we all just have to remember ..even though it might feel like its far away right now, its really not, and when done..you will finally be free! And I personally will have fought the demon that got me here in the first place!
C.W.H.T.I
Friday, December 21, 2007
This morning was a great day at the gym! Dec 21 2007
So I am back from the gym and feeling fine;)
I actually got really good sleep last night because i was in a downer sort of mood, so I went to bed earlier, but that was good cause this morning i woke up at 5:45am and felt like i was ready to take on the world, and ready to head out for my last workout of the week.
It has been a really sort of stressful time for me with all these extras going on in my life right now, but i asked for it and I got it, so I am not complaining. But even though its fun, and exciting, that I am going to be well known in my city more than I am now, it just sort of takes a toll on you, and sometimes it leaves you feeling like you need to get up for air. Its like everything is moving so fast, that you cant keep up.
Well nothing that a morning at a gym wouldn't get rid of. So when i arrived at the gym this morning i didn't waste any time, just got right to it!!
You should have seen me go..what I decided to do was for my weights i have increased them so all my exercises that I have to incorporate weights into, they are all up to 50lbs, and that was a good thing, and also i decided to instead of taking 60 seconds between each exercise as a rest period i decided to make it 30 secs...well i tell ya my heart was a pumpin! It was great, jumping from one thing to another, and by the time i would get to the end of each set, i was struggling..made the exercises alot more challenging.
Even one exercise that i do which is the wall press..i have been able to get my legs further back and also stay on my toes for all the 3 sets...(forgot to tell that to my trainer:-)
Anyways i left the gym feeling great! full of energy, happier than last night..and a little jiggly and wiggly in my arms and legs like jello...just what the doctor ordered..!!!Have a great weekend..!
Talk soon,
C.W.H.T.I.
I actually got really good sleep last night because i was in a downer sort of mood, so I went to bed earlier, but that was good cause this morning i woke up at 5:45am and felt like i was ready to take on the world, and ready to head out for my last workout of the week.
It has been a really sort of stressful time for me with all these extras going on in my life right now, but i asked for it and I got it, so I am not complaining. But even though its fun, and exciting, that I am going to be well known in my city more than I am now, it just sort of takes a toll on you, and sometimes it leaves you feeling like you need to get up for air. Its like everything is moving so fast, that you cant keep up.
Well nothing that a morning at a gym wouldn't get rid of. So when i arrived at the gym this morning i didn't waste any time, just got right to it!!
You should have seen me go..what I decided to do was for my weights i have increased them so all my exercises that I have to incorporate weights into, they are all up to 50lbs, and that was a good thing, and also i decided to instead of taking 60 seconds between each exercise as a rest period i decided to make it 30 secs...well i tell ya my heart was a pumpin! It was great, jumping from one thing to another, and by the time i would get to the end of each set, i was struggling..made the exercises alot more challenging.
Even one exercise that i do which is the wall press..i have been able to get my legs further back and also stay on my toes for all the 3 sets...(forgot to tell that to my trainer:-)
Anyways i left the gym feeling great! full of energy, happier than last night..and a little jiggly and wiggly in my arms and legs like jello...just what the doctor ordered..!!!Have a great weekend..!
Talk soon,
C.W.H.T.I.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Wednesday December 19th 2007
Hi Friends. Hope everyone is doing well. I just thought I would write something because its been a few days. Yesterday was our first debut on the television show. It was so exciting, however i have to say I was pretty nervous. Before going on I must have went to the bathroom like a million times, checking to make sure i had nothing on my teeth, making sure my lipstick was just right..it was funny. And really, I am not one to fuss about those things, but in a case like this where I have never been in front of the camera, there is a need to:)
But all in all it went ok. The day itself was really rushed not to mention an emotional roller coaster. After finishing up at Rogers Television with my trainer, I had to run over to my uncles wake. Exactly...i went from being on top of the world with excitement, to a really depressing state. It was hard. Not to mention that I had not eaten all day! But I got through it.
These last few months have been really tough. Our family has had to deal with 2 deaths right before Christmas, and its just been really hard all around.
But I have to keep going. In the past this would have been the perfect excuse to take it out on food. Because I am naturally an emotional eater..but this time, I was strong..and even waited until 4:00p.m.when i got home after such a busy day, to have my own meals.
Its been pretty cold here. SO its making it so tough for me to get to the gym at 6:00am. I do get there, but it takes me about 15 minutes to even convince myself to get out of bed. I just sit there, and debate, and think..I'm so tireeeeeed..do i have tooooo...and lie there..should i stay 5 more minutes, oh its cold out..every excuse I can think of why i should stay nice and cozy...and then finally...i just get up! grumpy..but i get up!! So that is the hardest part of this whole thing right now, is getting up so early, when my kids go to bed so late sometimes! So in the end I am not always working on alot of sleep.
Like, this morning when i was doing my weight training..when it should have been waking me up..i found myself yawning alot..lol total opposite! it was kind of funny,.
And something else funny, not sure if anyone can relate. but when i get on the treadmill on my weight training days..i must look like i am half drunk cause i still cannot get used to it. When i walk..i tend to slowly go to the side..and then have to straighten myself up in the middle again..i just laugh its so funny. I never really liked the treadmill..but on the days where i am using weights i use it just to warm up..lol
I think that's about it for now. We are going to continually make monthly appearances on the show and presently, I am in the process of getting things done before we have our first edition in our Ottawa sun newspaper, January 2nd. As you probably know they too are going to be following my story. So I have the reporter scheduled to come tomorrow to meet with me, and pics maybe,I am really excited about that! This has turned into something so much bigger than what i anticipated. I mean they are even going to show me training on their website, and probably talking into the web cam etc...so even if you are not from where I live everyone will be able to check it out, and can see me working my butt off. I will keep you posted.
But its not really easy I tell you. Making time for all this. Its hard enough making time to work out etc and have time for family..and work...appointments, kids swimming, but now to add this in..its been something that I am still trying to get used to. But I love it. I love the challenge, I love the fact that all of a sudden my once so ordinary life is different! And I think we all need that sometimes. Change I think can make us stronger and gets our brains going again.
But I am determined to do this so that all of you can follow my story and I just hope to show people that, even people like myself, that started off so heavy can change. Even if you are a mom, and married, and work. Its not easy but it can be done. We have the power in our hands to change whatever we wish pretty much, and its just grabbing on to it, and getting through it, even if its tough because in the end, its sooo worth it. I had a taste of that looking at my one month photos..I cant even imagine what i will be feeling in the end...
The number one thing that I do hope to achieve when all is said and done, and I have reached my goal, and physically healthy and basically a completely different person than the one that is writing you right now, is that whoever follows in my journey by reading my blog etc, even if you don't have a weight problem, is to show everyone that we as people can defeat whatever else might need to be defeated!If i can lose 140 pounds..well i mean..that just shows you, as long as you stay strong and positive and have the support from friends and family and the right tools, that you can reach for any dream whatever that is..you can and will do it.
Its all about CONTROL. We all need to take control of our own lives, that's the key. God made us alot more stronger than we think and we should always myself included remember that.
The one thing that these sad deaths also have reminded me of, is that we only have one life. We choose what we want to make out of it.
And I have chosen the path to freedom once and for all. To be able to live my life without worries that I once had. And that feels GREAT! I mean really all these years of wasting time. I should have done this a long time ago.
I cant believe all these years I just let it go..and go ...and go...and for what? because i like food too much, I mean come on..i just needed i think someone to show me the RIGHT path and thanks to my trainer, I have found that path.
No more will I ever go back to how I was , and how i thought. At the time, I remember thinking well this is not a big deal, so what i am overweight or whatever, But you know what, i was fooling myself. Just being overweight has made me lose out on alot, and sad as it is I cannot get those things back, but i can change the future.
Anyways...i will be on again soon, you know me:)
Stay warm..and Monday will be once again my weigh in day...and believe it or not before you know it I will be taking my 3rd pics...wow.
C.W.H.T.I
But all in all it went ok. The day itself was really rushed not to mention an emotional roller coaster. After finishing up at Rogers Television with my trainer, I had to run over to my uncles wake. Exactly...i went from being on top of the world with excitement, to a really depressing state. It was hard. Not to mention that I had not eaten all day! But I got through it.
These last few months have been really tough. Our family has had to deal with 2 deaths right before Christmas, and its just been really hard all around.
But I have to keep going. In the past this would have been the perfect excuse to take it out on food. Because I am naturally an emotional eater..but this time, I was strong..and even waited until 4:00p.m.when i got home after such a busy day, to have my own meals.
Its been pretty cold here. SO its making it so tough for me to get to the gym at 6:00am. I do get there, but it takes me about 15 minutes to even convince myself to get out of bed. I just sit there, and debate, and think..I'm so tireeeeeed..do i have tooooo...and lie there..should i stay 5 more minutes, oh its cold out..every excuse I can think of why i should stay nice and cozy...and then finally...i just get up! grumpy..but i get up!! So that is the hardest part of this whole thing right now, is getting up so early, when my kids go to bed so late sometimes! So in the end I am not always working on alot of sleep.
Like, this morning when i was doing my weight training..when it should have been waking me up..i found myself yawning alot..lol total opposite! it was kind of funny,.
And something else funny, not sure if anyone can relate. but when i get on the treadmill on my weight training days..i must look like i am half drunk cause i still cannot get used to it. When i walk..i tend to slowly go to the side..and then have to straighten myself up in the middle again..i just laugh its so funny. I never really liked the treadmill..but on the days where i am using weights i use it just to warm up..lol
I think that's about it for now. We are going to continually make monthly appearances on the show and presently, I am in the process of getting things done before we have our first edition in our Ottawa sun newspaper, January 2nd. As you probably know they too are going to be following my story. So I have the reporter scheduled to come tomorrow to meet with me, and pics maybe,I am really excited about that! This has turned into something so much bigger than what i anticipated. I mean they are even going to show me training on their website, and probably talking into the web cam etc...so even if you are not from where I live everyone will be able to check it out, and can see me working my butt off. I will keep you posted.
But its not really easy I tell you. Making time for all this. Its hard enough making time to work out etc and have time for family..and work...appointments, kids swimming, but now to add this in..its been something that I am still trying to get used to. But I love it. I love the challenge, I love the fact that all of a sudden my once so ordinary life is different! And I think we all need that sometimes. Change I think can make us stronger and gets our brains going again.
But I am determined to do this so that all of you can follow my story and I just hope to show people that, even people like myself, that started off so heavy can change. Even if you are a mom, and married, and work. Its not easy but it can be done. We have the power in our hands to change whatever we wish pretty much, and its just grabbing on to it, and getting through it, even if its tough because in the end, its sooo worth it. I had a taste of that looking at my one month photos..I cant even imagine what i will be feeling in the end...
The number one thing that I do hope to achieve when all is said and done, and I have reached my goal, and physically healthy and basically a completely different person than the one that is writing you right now, is that whoever follows in my journey by reading my blog etc, even if you don't have a weight problem, is to show everyone that we as people can defeat whatever else might need to be defeated!If i can lose 140 pounds..well i mean..that just shows you, as long as you stay strong and positive and have the support from friends and family and the right tools, that you can reach for any dream whatever that is..you can and will do it.
Its all about CONTROL. We all need to take control of our own lives, that's the key. God made us alot more stronger than we think and we should always myself included remember that.
The one thing that these sad deaths also have reminded me of, is that we only have one life. We choose what we want to make out of it.
And I have chosen the path to freedom once and for all. To be able to live my life without worries that I once had. And that feels GREAT! I mean really all these years of wasting time. I should have done this a long time ago.
I cant believe all these years I just let it go..and go ...and go...and for what? because i like food too much, I mean come on..i just needed i think someone to show me the RIGHT path and thanks to my trainer, I have found that path.
No more will I ever go back to how I was , and how i thought. At the time, I remember thinking well this is not a big deal, so what i am overweight or whatever, But you know what, i was fooling myself. Just being overweight has made me lose out on alot, and sad as it is I cannot get those things back, but i can change the future.
Anyways...i will be on again soon, you know me:)
Stay warm..and Monday will be once again my weigh in day...and believe it or not before you know it I will be taking my 3rd pics...wow.
C.W.H.T.I
Monday, December 17, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007(weigh in day)247lbs
Hi. I didn't really want to weigh myself today because the last pics had such an impact on me, but i figured I would for you guys since i already started doing this every Monday since the beginning.
So i got on the scale and today it showed about 247. So that's roughly 23 pounds now. So from 270 that's pretty good.
You know when the dial comes around and shows your weight???..soon in the next little while i wont even see 270 anymore. It will be long gone out of sight. Thank goodness.
Its been a long time since i have been even this weight,. i remember the lowest I got in recent years on the Atkins diet was I believe to 252 or something like that..so i even surpassed Atkins. And also Atkins i personally could not stay on for more than one month, yes it worked fast but i missed out on alot of things therefore got bored of it quick!lol
Well anyways, I'm in a rush, busy day today, hope you all have a wonderful day, keep smiling, and tune in tomorrow if you have a chance to watch me and trainer rob on TV rogers 22 11am, and a feature on us in the Ottawa sun newspaper on January 2nd.
Talk soon,
C.W.H.T.I.O
xo
So i got on the scale and today it showed about 247. So that's roughly 23 pounds now. So from 270 that's pretty good.
You know when the dial comes around and shows your weight???..soon in the next little while i wont even see 270 anymore. It will be long gone out of sight. Thank goodness.
Its been a long time since i have been even this weight,. i remember the lowest I got in recent years on the Atkins diet was I believe to 252 or something like that..so i even surpassed Atkins. And also Atkins i personally could not stay on for more than one month, yes it worked fast but i missed out on alot of things therefore got bored of it quick!lol
Well anyways, I'm in a rush, busy day today, hope you all have a wonderful day, keep smiling, and tune in tomorrow if you have a chance to watch me and trainer rob on TV rogers 22 11am, and a feature on us in the Ottawa sun newspaper on January 2nd.
Talk soon,
C.W.H.T.I.O
xo
Friday, December 14, 2007
Friday, december 14th 2007
Hey Everyone. Well another week of working out is over. And I am kind of happy with that. I always look forward to my weekends where I don't have to wake up at 5:45 and get to the gym for 6:00 am.
It was nice this morning though, because again I can see and feel my body getting so much stronger then when i started. And as I was finishing my exercises one by one, when putting back the weight pieces in their proper places, I thought to myself, wow, I've done it! Rob(my trainer) will be back this Sunday, and who knows what the next stage will be like. Not sure if I will even be using these same weights, because I may be doing a whole new range of different exercises! It was a great feeling though. I cant wait to see him, so that he can see how far I have come. When i first started, there was this one exercise called a bridge, where I have to lie on the ground and lift my whole body up, and hold, and down,,,and up etc...I had to do 15 reps, 3 sets, and believe me, that was tough!! But today, even for that exercise, I went though it like a breeze, well not breeze but it was so easier to do compared to when starting out.
Squats I still have a hard time with. They are so hard! but everything else was perfect. My arms are so much stronger, my posture is better, even when just standing as you can see from my photos...if you look at them see how i am standing so much straighter.
Oh well, this is it for today and for the week. After taking pics of myself on Monday I have to say I almost don't even feel like weighing myself anymore, Pictures say it all. And i look forward to my next set, on the 11th of next month(January).
A funny story I have to tell not related to working out, but this morning after returning from the gym, I always get my daughter ready for school and drive her. In the school yard, I just watched her play for a few minutes before the bell rang, just admiring her, and thinking wow..cant believe that I made this little girl.lol
Sometimes as parents we get so busy that we don't think much about that, but I am sure everyone at one time or another that hits you, that thought like wow, where has the time gone.
Anyways, once the bell rang she came over and I gave her her nap sack,and kissed her twice and told her that I loved her. And this one boy, so much bigger than her (my daughter is a younger one in her class) said to her...goo goo ga ga..I suppose meaning baby, well no joke...my daughter said heyyyyyy! and socked him one...i was like OH MY GOD!!! I couldn't believe it . I said to her...we don't hit our friends, and she was like...WELL HE WAS RUDE!!!! I couldn't help but laugh..i thought ...good girl...even though she is a little thing, she sticks up for herself.lol
But I have never seen that side of her before. I remember when my daughter was going to daycare and just before leaving before starting school, i said to her teacher I was a little nervous, being that she was starting school younger than the rest due to when her birthday is, and she told me then...oh she will be fine, really she makes her friends so easy, and sticks up well for herself when faced with a conflict...and I got to see that this morning. That was so funny.
Well hope everyone has a great weekend! I am so ready for my debut on television this coming Tuesday, hope i do well...and hope everyone local will be tuning in!
Take Care!!
C.W.H.T.I
It was nice this morning though, because again I can see and feel my body getting so much stronger then when i started. And as I was finishing my exercises one by one, when putting back the weight pieces in their proper places, I thought to myself, wow, I've done it! Rob(my trainer) will be back this Sunday, and who knows what the next stage will be like. Not sure if I will even be using these same weights, because I may be doing a whole new range of different exercises! It was a great feeling though. I cant wait to see him, so that he can see how far I have come. When i first started, there was this one exercise called a bridge, where I have to lie on the ground and lift my whole body up, and hold, and down,,,and up etc...I had to do 15 reps, 3 sets, and believe me, that was tough!! But today, even for that exercise, I went though it like a breeze, well not breeze but it was so easier to do compared to when starting out.
Squats I still have a hard time with. They are so hard! but everything else was perfect. My arms are so much stronger, my posture is better, even when just standing as you can see from my photos...if you look at them see how i am standing so much straighter.
Oh well, this is it for today and for the week. After taking pics of myself on Monday I have to say I almost don't even feel like weighing myself anymore, Pictures say it all. And i look forward to my next set, on the 11th of next month(January).
A funny story I have to tell not related to working out, but this morning after returning from the gym, I always get my daughter ready for school and drive her. In the school yard, I just watched her play for a few minutes before the bell rang, just admiring her, and thinking wow..cant believe that I made this little girl.lol
Sometimes as parents we get so busy that we don't think much about that, but I am sure everyone at one time or another that hits you, that thought like wow, where has the time gone.
Anyways, once the bell rang she came over and I gave her her nap sack,and kissed her twice and told her that I loved her. And this one boy, so much bigger than her (my daughter is a younger one in her class) said to her...goo goo ga ga..I suppose meaning baby, well no joke...my daughter said heyyyyyy! and socked him one...i was like OH MY GOD!!! I couldn't believe it . I said to her...we don't hit our friends, and she was like...WELL HE WAS RUDE!!!! I couldn't help but laugh..i thought ...good girl...even though she is a little thing, she sticks up for herself.lol
But I have never seen that side of her before. I remember when my daughter was going to daycare and just before leaving before starting school, i said to her teacher I was a little nervous, being that she was starting school younger than the rest due to when her birthday is, and she told me then...oh she will be fine, really she makes her friends so easy, and sticks up well for herself when faced with a conflict...and I got to see that this morning. That was so funny.
Well hope everyone has a great weekend! I am so ready for my debut on television this coming Tuesday, hope i do well...and hope everyone local will be tuning in!
Take Care!!
C.W.H.T.I
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
December 11th 2007(one month anniversary since starting)!!
Hey Everyone! Hope that you all can take a minute to look at all my new photos to compare.
I have to say that I, personally, was very pleased with them. I got emotional this morning posting them because it just all hit me. All the mornings that I am getting up so early, working out so hard, resisting temptations throughout this past month..just everything..and when i saw my photos I was really surprised! Honest. I didn't think they would show that much of a difference already.wow.
Can't wait to see what surprises lie ahead for next month, and every month thereafter, cause I am going to keep posting them until I am done.
It's been really hard, I cannot lie, but, in the end its so worth it! It's a feeling i just cant explain in words other than to say you feel like you are on top of the world. Like you have overcome something so difficult and now left enjoying the fruits of it all.(and some more killer workouts)lol
But, I personally would not have changed one thing this past month, and I hope that this shows everyone that with the right workouts and proper food intake, anyone can change!
Enjoy!
C.W.H.T.I
I have to say that I, personally, was very pleased with them. I got emotional this morning posting them because it just all hit me. All the mornings that I am getting up so early, working out so hard, resisting temptations throughout this past month..just everything..and when i saw my photos I was really surprised! Honest. I didn't think they would show that much of a difference already.wow.
Can't wait to see what surprises lie ahead for next month, and every month thereafter, cause I am going to keep posting them until I am done.
It's been really hard, I cannot lie, but, in the end its so worth it! It's a feeling i just cant explain in words other than to say you feel like you are on top of the world. Like you have overcome something so difficult and now left enjoying the fruits of it all.(and some more killer workouts)lol
But, I personally would not have changed one thing this past month, and I hope that this shows everyone that with the right workouts and proper food intake, anyone can change!
Enjoy!
C.W.H.T.I
other side(one month anniversary pics)
Now everyone can see for themselves what just 20 pounds can do. I mean it doesnt sound like much, but look at me.what a difference. I hope my trainer is going to be proud of me cause he hasnt seen me since he showed me my routine at the gym, but he comes back this sunday. I just am so greatful. Rob, it worked!! You are my saviour my friend.! And I thank you! Now lets kick this thing into high geer, I am done the beginner part...!
back view(one month anniversary pics)
check this out, my neck line in the back, my arms from behind, my butt is smaller and hips..and i think i feel tears coming on,..i am so shocked that I have changed already this month, ok now i am crying:-) but all in a good way.
side view(one month anniversary pics)
Look at my side view...my stomach doesnt look as big, arms have gotten smaller..my chin, its all good. I'm feeling really proud at this moment
Front facing pics (one month anniversary photos)
So these are my pics, wow what a difference I cant even believe it to be honest. Nevermind the fact that I lost 20 pounds on the scale...I mean pics really do say it all. All my hard work has paid off...I just need to keep it up..I am so pumped.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Monday, December 10th 2007
Hey Everyone. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. First off i would like to start off by saying, remember that party that I was having for my daughter on Saturday for her birthday, well i passed the test with flying colours. I had not one bite of anything, not the delicious mouth watering pizza, not the sweet cake that I ordered (that everyone kept mentioning was so good), not even the amazing nacho dip with the crunchy nachos that I made for everyone. SO I am so happy with myself about this. Just stuck to my own food as usual, and to be honest the whole thing didn't really bother me like i thought it might have!
GOOD FOR ME!!
Anyways as far as my weight though, I am pulling I guess what would be like a "biggest loser" moment, the numbers on my scale did not move this week AT ALL!!! I was really hoping to get to 20 pounds today being that it will be exactly a month tomorrow(and being a MONDAY today), and it just would have been nice to have an even number, but no, nothing, Nada, niente!
Am i upset? well I suppose a little, but I have better things to be happy about. I have done all that I could do, I have not cheated, and best of all...my trainer will be back at the end of this week where we will meet and have an "oil change"done on my routine which is like, change of menu, change of exercises to keep my body shocked and on target I suppose. So I am looking forward to that! I have been on this so called"baseline diet" now since I started Nov 11th, and to be honest, yes I am used to it, but I think its time for a little change.
The exercises at the gym have like I said have been getting somewhat easier(mind you some are still a little difficult, those certain ones, that I will never get used to or like..eg.squats), but I am ready to start a whole new bunch of newer exercises!
The city Editor from one of our local newspapers here in Ottawa, (The Ottawa Sun) got in touch with me over the weekend, and its set! During the week of December 31st they have decided to run an ad, have a first pic, talk about what I am trying to accomplish, and then follow my story for a year! Its so amazing. Also they are going to be posting video clips of me training and also talking on their website where people can go and see me and what I am up to...pics updated every month,this is all just amazing! Can't wait to tell my trainer about all this!
I wanted to inspire and looks like its going to happen for sure now that everyone will have access to my story and to see who I am.
Well that's all that's new for now. I will take my "famous" pics tomorrow. I hope we will be able to tell differences then.
Have a great day and talk soon,
C.W.H.T.I.
GOOD FOR ME!!
Anyways as far as my weight though, I am pulling I guess what would be like a "biggest loser" moment, the numbers on my scale did not move this week AT ALL!!! I was really hoping to get to 20 pounds today being that it will be exactly a month tomorrow(and being a MONDAY today), and it just would have been nice to have an even number, but no, nothing, Nada, niente!
Am i upset? well I suppose a little, but I have better things to be happy about. I have done all that I could do, I have not cheated, and best of all...my trainer will be back at the end of this week where we will meet and have an "oil change"done on my routine which is like, change of menu, change of exercises to keep my body shocked and on target I suppose. So I am looking forward to that! I have been on this so called"baseline diet" now since I started Nov 11th, and to be honest, yes I am used to it, but I think its time for a little change.
The exercises at the gym have like I said have been getting somewhat easier(mind you some are still a little difficult, those certain ones, that I will never get used to or like..eg.squats), but I am ready to start a whole new bunch of newer exercises!
The city Editor from one of our local newspapers here in Ottawa, (The Ottawa Sun) got in touch with me over the weekend, and its set! During the week of December 31st they have decided to run an ad, have a first pic, talk about what I am trying to accomplish, and then follow my story for a year! Its so amazing. Also they are going to be posting video clips of me training and also talking on their website where people can go and see me and what I am up to...pics updated every month,this is all just amazing! Can't wait to tell my trainer about all this!
I wanted to inspire and looks like its going to happen for sure now that everyone will have access to my story and to see who I am.
Well that's all that's new for now. I will take my "famous" pics tomorrow. I hope we will be able to tell differences then.
Have a great day and talk soon,
C.W.H.T.I.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Friday December 7th 2007
Hey Everyone, just a quick update. I forgot to tell you all that I have a few barrels I am going to have to get over these next few weeks.
Not only is Christmas around the corner like i had mentioned in a previous blog...but...
tomorrow is my daughters 5th birthday. Everyone is coming over..(big family) for a really nice fresh, sweet icing princess cake that I will probably want to devour and chips and nachos with a really nice dip,that i am making that is made with sour cream, and fresh chopped tomatoes,green onions, shredded cheese,black olives...and thick crust pizza smelling oh so good,with melted cheese on top with all the dressings...and nice ice cold pop..basically everything that is a no no for me...god help me.
and then the following week I have to go through the same ordeal when its my nephews birthday at my brothers house....god help me twice!
And then there will be Christmas....I am starting to think that this was a really shitty time to start a transformation diet.:-(::: lol
Oh well whats done is done..the show must go on..:-)
C.W.H.T.I
Not only is Christmas around the corner like i had mentioned in a previous blog...but...
tomorrow is my daughters 5th birthday. Everyone is coming over..(big family) for a really nice fresh, sweet icing princess cake that I will probably want to devour and chips and nachos with a really nice dip,that i am making that is made with sour cream, and fresh chopped tomatoes,green onions, shredded cheese,black olives...and thick crust pizza smelling oh so good,with melted cheese on top with all the dressings...and nice ice cold pop..basically everything that is a no no for me...god help me.
and then the following week I have to go through the same ordeal when its my nephews birthday at my brothers house....god help me twice!
And then there will be Christmas....I am starting to think that this was a really shitty time to start a transformation diet.:-(::: lol
Oh well whats done is done..the show must go on..:-)
C.W.H.T.I
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Thursday December 6th 2007
Hi readers, hope that you are doing better than me. I mean I am doing ok, seems like what I thought was pink eye..well nothing came out of it..it still is a little red, but i think i will survive thank god.
I have had a really tough day today. Not sure why, but I was so hungry. I was at work, and time just seemed to go by so slowly due to the fact, I couldn't wait for my time to eat lunch, and snacks. That's all I could think about!!
I really don't know why that is. Perhaps because I gave alot this morning into my workout?I recall that my trainer did give me the heads up that I may feel hungry, and that it would be normal if so, due to the workouts, and just told me to stay strong, because we will be changing my diet soon, but I have to be pretty strict right now on my baseline diet to get things started off right..but that was like 3 weeks ago. So i thought i wasn't going to have to deal with that..well..today I dealt with it.
I hope I will be over it tomorrow, cause it was tough at work, smelling all the foods around me.
I had told the cook at work how i was feeling, while chowing down on my grapes..(when all the others were eating potatoes, and some kind of meat, and veggies)..so he was like..."drink your water, you haven't been drinking you water..drink your friggin water"!!!
I like him cause he is a little hard on me, he is the type to tell it like it is..he is not too soft with me which I think that is what I need right now, I would rather someone be hard on me, and not feel sorry for me(or give me the impression that they are feeling sorry for me),and i really think he just doesn't want to see me do anything I will regret..I mean I have come so far in just a month...so he just mentioned..."well your trainer is not here..but i am, so i am telling you to drink"! ..lol well it worked..cause i gobbled down a few glasses which helped alot..but I have to say diets really suck.! I know that I really shouldn't call it a diet ...but anything that leaves me feeling hungry I call diet..lol
The cook and I have had alot of conversations all about this, he's been the one to listen to me, on not only this but alot of topics, he's become like a really close friend and confidant, not to mention he was there when i received the call from rogers television, he knows how excited I was, and how excited I have been, he's helped me stay strong as well. Thanks to him he helped me get through the day a little easier. I mean in the end its all up to me(or you) whoever the person is going through whatever situation, I mean friends can help and support you, but you in the end make that final decision on whats going to go into that mouth.
I think this coming holiday season is going to be hard on me. Although my trainer said to me for Christmas I can eat whatever for that day, honestly I am scared to do so. Because its been almost a month that i have not had things like sugar,salt, pastas etc..and I have been eating so healthy that..if i have a taste of one of those things...or all that good food at Christmas..what if it starts me craving things! What if it triggers something in my brain that puts me in an even worse position. I don't want to go through that again!!
I mean there will be plenty of time to enjoy those things from time to time later on down the road..but do i really want to take a chance with this and risk all that I have done so far.
Because right now I may be hungry..but its not like I am craving things. There is a difference.
So i am basically starting to think about what I am going to do over the holidays..maybe I will avoid the whole thing all together and just treat it like a normal sort of day. But its hard to do that as well because when you have a family..not to mention 3 kids all under the age of 5, how can I possibly treat Christmas like just another normal sort of day.
Christmas is in the air, baked goods, lots of Italian food, or turkey, potatoes, gravy the whole 9 yards, ok i better stop I am making myself hungry here again.
But today I was thinking some good thoughts as well while I took in some air outside at work, while trying to deal with my hunger.
I did have a minute to think about what I HAVE accomplished in this last past month of training and transformation. I mean I have made it to the gym 4 weeks in a row, at least 5 times a week. I have not cheated once! I have followed all the instructions given to me by my trainer. I can now climb my stairs at my own home without being out of breath unlike before. I have so much more energy at work,I have increased some of my weights, because some of the exercises are getting easier(so I am challenging myself on my own while my trainer is gone away). I mean there is a big difference compared to when I started which I think I should always focus on and remember. One year from now isn't that far away really. Time flies so fast...Before I know it I will be there at the finish line, weighing over 100 pounds less.
I wonder how i will feel when i get there. I mean I have never EVER been a normal weight ..at least not since maybe grade 2?
Isn't that crazy..but its true! I don't even know what it feels like to be a normal weight. I was always overweight! Isn't that sad. All these years..missed out on alot because of it. But I guess the good thing is I am tackling it now, better now then never, and I still have alot of years left to enjoy my new me once I get there. I cant wait to get it all off once and for all.
Well anyways...i better go...long enough for you all, and for me tonight. I'm exhausted time for sleep.
Thanks for reading.
Talk soon
C.W.H.T.I
I have had a really tough day today. Not sure why, but I was so hungry. I was at work, and time just seemed to go by so slowly due to the fact, I couldn't wait for my time to eat lunch, and snacks. That's all I could think about!!
I really don't know why that is. Perhaps because I gave alot this morning into my workout?I recall that my trainer did give me the heads up that I may feel hungry, and that it would be normal if so, due to the workouts, and just told me to stay strong, because we will be changing my diet soon, but I have to be pretty strict right now on my baseline diet to get things started off right..but that was like 3 weeks ago. So i thought i wasn't going to have to deal with that..well..today I dealt with it.
I hope I will be over it tomorrow, cause it was tough at work, smelling all the foods around me.
I had told the cook at work how i was feeling, while chowing down on my grapes..(when all the others were eating potatoes, and some kind of meat, and veggies)..so he was like..."drink your water, you haven't been drinking you water..drink your friggin water"!!!
I like him cause he is a little hard on me, he is the type to tell it like it is..he is not too soft with me which I think that is what I need right now, I would rather someone be hard on me, and not feel sorry for me(or give me the impression that they are feeling sorry for me),and i really think he just doesn't want to see me do anything I will regret..I mean I have come so far in just a month...so he just mentioned..."well your trainer is not here..but i am, so i am telling you to drink"! ..lol well it worked..cause i gobbled down a few glasses which helped alot..but I have to say diets really suck.! I know that I really shouldn't call it a diet ...but anything that leaves me feeling hungry I call diet..lol
The cook and I have had alot of conversations all about this, he's been the one to listen to me, on not only this but alot of topics, he's become like a really close friend and confidant, not to mention he was there when i received the call from rogers television, he knows how excited I was, and how excited I have been, he's helped me stay strong as well. Thanks to him he helped me get through the day a little easier. I mean in the end its all up to me(or you) whoever the person is going through whatever situation, I mean friends can help and support you, but you in the end make that final decision on whats going to go into that mouth.
I think this coming holiday season is going to be hard on me. Although my trainer said to me for Christmas I can eat whatever for that day, honestly I am scared to do so. Because its been almost a month that i have not had things like sugar,salt, pastas etc..and I have been eating so healthy that..if i have a taste of one of those things...or all that good food at Christmas..what if it starts me craving things! What if it triggers something in my brain that puts me in an even worse position. I don't want to go through that again!!
I mean there will be plenty of time to enjoy those things from time to time later on down the road..but do i really want to take a chance with this and risk all that I have done so far.
Because right now I may be hungry..but its not like I am craving things. There is a difference.
So i am basically starting to think about what I am going to do over the holidays..maybe I will avoid the whole thing all together and just treat it like a normal sort of day. But its hard to do that as well because when you have a family..not to mention 3 kids all under the age of 5, how can I possibly treat Christmas like just another normal sort of day.
Christmas is in the air, baked goods, lots of Italian food, or turkey, potatoes, gravy the whole 9 yards, ok i better stop I am making myself hungry here again.
But today I was thinking some good thoughts as well while I took in some air outside at work, while trying to deal with my hunger.
I did have a minute to think about what I HAVE accomplished in this last past month of training and transformation. I mean I have made it to the gym 4 weeks in a row, at least 5 times a week. I have not cheated once! I have followed all the instructions given to me by my trainer. I can now climb my stairs at my own home without being out of breath unlike before. I have so much more energy at work,I have increased some of my weights, because some of the exercises are getting easier(so I am challenging myself on my own while my trainer is gone away). I mean there is a big difference compared to when I started which I think I should always focus on and remember. One year from now isn't that far away really. Time flies so fast...Before I know it I will be there at the finish line, weighing over 100 pounds less.
I wonder how i will feel when i get there. I mean I have never EVER been a normal weight ..at least not since maybe grade 2?
Isn't that crazy..but its true! I don't even know what it feels like to be a normal weight. I was always overweight! Isn't that sad. All these years..missed out on alot because of it. But I guess the good thing is I am tackling it now, better now then never, and I still have alot of years left to enjoy my new me once I get there. I cant wait to get it all off once and for all.
Well anyways...i better go...long enough for you all, and for me tonight. I'm exhausted time for sleep.
Thanks for reading.
Talk soon
C.W.H.T.I
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Wendesday, December 5th 2007
Hey guys!!Wow, cant believe we are half way through the work week already. Time just flies! Not to mention 6 more days till my 2nd set of photos!!
So, just got home from work, and wanted to share quickly with you all before starting supper, a funny story. At least I'm sure YOU will find it somewhat funny!
You all don't know this, but just before even starting this diet or blog..i got really sick. I caught something like the norwalk virus, not sure what kind of virus it was, but all i do know, is that I was off work for 10 DAYS!!! and, ended up being like 10 pounds lighter once it passed, if you know what I mean.. lol
(I did however manage to put that weight back on myself really quickly afterwards with no problem in that department)..:-)
.....and as you all know if you have been following my blog, I have been sick with a cold that is taking its sweet ol time to get out of my system. Coughing and coughing and spitting and coughing..all the fun stuff that comes along with the most attractive colds, not to mention voice change
(However thought I would mention that I do think I am on the mends, had a few coughing episodes today, but I believe that its shifting finally!!!)
...So, this morning, as I woke up in bed and opened my eyes to a brand new day, I noticed that one of my eyes had some stuff on the outside of it..so i rubbed it off, and got up..I went to do my bathroom routine when I looked in the mirror and thought.."wow my eye is a little red". Didn't really think anything of it though, figured it was just because I didn't sleep well or something or other. I, on the other hand, had a workout to get too!!
....Then, once I got to work later on that morning, low and behold what do I see..a sign for parents to notice as they walk in (i work in a daycare remember) 2 CASES OF PINK EYE..one viral and one bacterial. I was like..you've got to be kidding me!!
After I noticed the sign, I was mentioning to a teacher, about my episode in the morning, but said to her, "I am sure its gone, let me check and see if MY eye is still red." I REALLY, REALLY believed, it was gone, and I could not possibly have pink eye! I mean, everything that I have been through lately there is no possible way.
I went into the employees bathroom..and, I had a look in the mirror..."WHAT"!!!!!"I thought to myself" just staring ..MY EYE IS STILL REDDDDDDD!!!(You guys should have seen the look on my face, something you would see in a comedy or something)
Is God going to give me a break here or what??? Am I cursed! I mean, COME ON, this is getting crazy!
uurggg !!!...I have been like a sponge lately, just picking up every single virus.!! I was so angry..seems like i finish with one thing and I catch another. Once hearing about it, another fellow worker approached me and said something funny.."You mean your trainer failed to tell you along with this new healthy lifestyle, that you would also be picking up everything and anything!!"lol
On the serious side here, interesting enough, when I wasn't in shape, and really didn't care, and just would stuff everything and anything into my mouth..i never caught anything! Honestly! I am not joking, I was rarely sick.When I caught a cold, it would last a day...and the last time i got the flu was like years ago...and pink eye...never EVER had pink eye!
All I know is NOW i have to go the clinic once again to get checked for pink eye..gee
And coming from an Italian background, if my father new this...I could just hear him now...
"Ro...i tolda you, you getta sicka when you donta eat....(shaking his head) here ...have a plate a spA-ghetti, then you be o-k!"
Dad...I even think of you in my blog. Love ya dad.
Oh well that's the funny story for today. Hope it made YOU all smile:-)
C.W.H.T.I.
xo
got to go make dinner.....bye
So, just got home from work, and wanted to share quickly with you all before starting supper, a funny story. At least I'm sure YOU will find it somewhat funny!
You all don't know this, but just before even starting this diet or blog..i got really sick. I caught something like the norwalk virus, not sure what kind of virus it was, but all i do know, is that I was off work for 10 DAYS!!! and, ended up being like 10 pounds lighter once it passed, if you know what I mean.. lol
(I did however manage to put that weight back on myself really quickly afterwards with no problem in that department)..:-)
.....and as you all know if you have been following my blog, I have been sick with a cold that is taking its sweet ol time to get out of my system. Coughing and coughing and spitting and coughing..all the fun stuff that comes along with the most attractive colds, not to mention voice change
(However thought I would mention that I do think I am on the mends, had a few coughing episodes today, but I believe that its shifting finally!!!)
...So, this morning, as I woke up in bed and opened my eyes to a brand new day, I noticed that one of my eyes had some stuff on the outside of it..so i rubbed it off, and got up..I went to do my bathroom routine when I looked in the mirror and thought.."wow my eye is a little red". Didn't really think anything of it though, figured it was just because I didn't sleep well or something or other. I, on the other hand, had a workout to get too!!
....Then, once I got to work later on that morning, low and behold what do I see..a sign for parents to notice as they walk in (i work in a daycare remember) 2 CASES OF PINK EYE..one viral and one bacterial. I was like..you've got to be kidding me!!
After I noticed the sign, I was mentioning to a teacher, about my episode in the morning, but said to her, "I am sure its gone, let me check and see if MY eye is still red." I REALLY, REALLY believed, it was gone, and I could not possibly have pink eye! I mean, everything that I have been through lately there is no possible way.
I went into the employees bathroom..and, I had a look in the mirror..."WHAT"!!!!!"I thought to myself" just staring ..MY EYE IS STILL REDDDDDDD!!!(You guys should have seen the look on my face, something you would see in a comedy or something)
Is God going to give me a break here or what??? Am I cursed! I mean, COME ON, this is getting crazy!
uurggg !!!...I have been like a sponge lately, just picking up every single virus.!! I was so angry..seems like i finish with one thing and I catch another. Once hearing about it, another fellow worker approached me and said something funny.."You mean your trainer failed to tell you along with this new healthy lifestyle, that you would also be picking up everything and anything!!"lol
On the serious side here, interesting enough, when I wasn't in shape, and really didn't care, and just would stuff everything and anything into my mouth..i never caught anything! Honestly! I am not joking, I was rarely sick.When I caught a cold, it would last a day...and the last time i got the flu was like years ago...and pink eye...never EVER had pink eye!
All I know is NOW i have to go the clinic once again to get checked for pink eye..gee
And coming from an Italian background, if my father new this...I could just hear him now...
"Ro...i tolda you, you getta sicka when you donta eat....(shaking his head) here ...have a plate a spA-ghetti, then you be o-k!"
Dad...I even think of you in my blog. Love ya dad.
Oh well that's the funny story for today. Hope it made YOU all smile:-)
C.W.H.T.I.
xo
got to go make dinner.....bye
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Tuesday December 4th 2007
Hi everyone. Just wanted to let you know that I am really excited to announce that myself and my trainer are going to be on a local station here in Ottawa once a month until the end of this journey. Its on Rogers local channel 22, the program is called daytime. I hope that whoever can,will check us out. I will let you all know when we will be on.
This morning I went to the gym. I really had to do my training despite the fact I am still coughing but i had no choice. At first I had a little bit of a rough time, taking coughing fits, and needed water, wasn't sure if i was going to get through it or not..but anyways the coughing surpassed and i was able to get through my training for today. Wow, cant wait until this cough goes away..but with the kids I am sure i should expect another one sooner or later, hopefully more later.
The workouts my trainer has started me off with are starting to get easier for the most part. There are a few exercises that are still killers and hard to do, but I have a feeling when I tell him they are starting to get easier he may up the exercise or change it all together. Oh GOD! But i guess i have to be honest, if I want to keep losing, and not to mention keep getting stronger.
Presently he is in Florida(must me nice)soaking in the rays but will be back later this week so we will need to discuss all this.
Thanks to all my readers who are following my story up until now, I hope to make you all proud one day, not to far down the road, and we can all look back and think, wow...and i hope to inspire many of you!
Talk soon
C.W.H.T.I
xo
This morning I went to the gym. I really had to do my training despite the fact I am still coughing but i had no choice. At first I had a little bit of a rough time, taking coughing fits, and needed water, wasn't sure if i was going to get through it or not..but anyways the coughing surpassed and i was able to get through my training for today. Wow, cant wait until this cough goes away..but with the kids I am sure i should expect another one sooner or later, hopefully more later.
The workouts my trainer has started me off with are starting to get easier for the most part. There are a few exercises that are still killers and hard to do, but I have a feeling when I tell him they are starting to get easier he may up the exercise or change it all together. Oh GOD! But i guess i have to be honest, if I want to keep losing, and not to mention keep getting stronger.
Presently he is in Florida(must me nice)soaking in the rays but will be back later this week so we will need to discuss all this.
Thanks to all my readers who are following my story up until now, I hope to make you all proud one day, not to far down the road, and we can all look back and think, wow...and i hope to inspire many of you!
Talk soon
C.W.H.T.I
xo
Monday, December 3, 2007
Monday, December 3rd 2007
Drum roll please.........
this morning I weighed myself. I am 16 POUNDS LESS....YEAHHHHHH
So 3 weeks I have lost 16 pounds,.
How do I feel?(other then being still sick) I feel more energetic, I can run up the stairs at home without being all out of breath like in the beginning, I smile alot more, and I am starting to feel stronger both mentally and physically. I have overcome temptations and don't have a problem being around them anymore. I feel more in control in whats going into my mouth instead of always out of control, ..(in other words letting food control me),I think that's about all for now.:-)))))
But i feel wonderful. I am so excited about next weeks pics. I hope they bring some change. I know they wont be huge, But i do expect a little. So i am going to work out hard this week everyone, and next week after the 11th....you can look for my pics that i will once again post and together we can try and find the differences like we used to do in kindergarten:).....smiles
remember these pics are so temporary, they are going to change all the time.!Life goes by so fast and before you know it I will be posting my 3 months pics etc...:-)
Thanks for following friends
C.W.H.T.I
xoxo
this morning I weighed myself. I am 16 POUNDS LESS....YEAHHHHHH
So 3 weeks I have lost 16 pounds,.
How do I feel?(other then being still sick) I feel more energetic, I can run up the stairs at home without being all out of breath like in the beginning, I smile alot more, and I am starting to feel stronger both mentally and physically. I have overcome temptations and don't have a problem being around them anymore. I feel more in control in whats going into my mouth instead of always out of control, ..(in other words letting food control me),I think that's about all for now.:-)))))
But i feel wonderful. I am so excited about next weeks pics. I hope they bring some change. I know they wont be huge, But i do expect a little. So i am going to work out hard this week everyone, and next week after the 11th....you can look for my pics that i will once again post and together we can try and find the differences like we used to do in kindergarten:).....smiles
remember these pics are so temporary, they are going to change all the time.!Life goes by so fast and before you know it I will be posting my 3 months pics etc...:-)
Thanks for following friends
C.W.H.T.I
xoxo
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Sunday Dec 2nd 2007
Hi everyone. Can't believe that we are already in December, however the snow we have been having lately reassures us that yes we are in December:-)
Well I wasn't going to write today because I have to get on tomorrow morning once I weigh myself, but I decided to cause I am a little annoyed at this time.
As you all know I haven't been feeling really not that great lately with this soar throat thing going on, and coughing etc...so yesterday off i went to the clinic...and what a waste of time!.
The doctor apparently didn't see anything in my throat. I have no idea how that is even possible because first of all I hardly never get sick..even colds..and I know that this feels different. My throat HURTS!!
And the reason why i am a little pissed right now is because this week coming i planned on working really extra hard given the fact that next week on the 11th..my pics are going to be taken..so i wanted to give all i could with this weeks' workouts..but now...being that I am not on anything, that PROBABLY could have made me feel a little better by Monday,(except this over the counter cough syrup)...i have a feeling that i am going to have to do these upcoming workouts coughing my head off and just feeling plain ol lousy with a soar throat and that PISSES ME OFF:)
Oh well this is life, always shooting stuff at us right at the best of times i guess. I started this workout program and menu plan so great..i was feeling awesome and full of energy..and now right before the pics..i have to kick it into high gear even feeling the way I do.(although my energy level is still ok surprisingly)
If only the doc would have given me something last night at least maybe by Monday I would have started to feel better but noooooooo!
oh well.
I cant cry over it..if it continues i will just have to go back to the clinic in a couple of days..until then.. cough syrup it is..that tastes AWFUL by the way cannot stand the stuff!
Well today is a busy day so cannot write to long...because i have to take the kids to swimming lessons, and today being Sunday I have laundry(Sunday=laundry day), with work its just too hard for me to do it during the week...and who knows what else might come up later.
But I would like to mention one good thing, this past weekend has been great in one way.I can deal with the weekends now i guess. I didn't feel hungry this weekend and on edge like all the other weekends that have passed. It just didn't bother me and I wasn't really hungry much anyways. Yesterday I had to force myself to actually eat the foods that I am suppose to take in everyday...so that is a GOOD thing. I hope all weekends will now be this way.! So I can enjoy my kids more and not be so miserable!
anyways i will be on tomorr
Well I wasn't going to write today because I have to get on tomorrow morning once I weigh myself, but I decided to cause I am a little annoyed at this time.
As you all know I haven't been feeling really not that great lately with this soar throat thing going on, and coughing etc...so yesterday off i went to the clinic...and what a waste of time!.
The doctor apparently didn't see anything in my throat. I have no idea how that is even possible because first of all I hardly never get sick..even colds..and I know that this feels different. My throat HURTS!!
And the reason why i am a little pissed right now is because this week coming i planned on working really extra hard given the fact that next week on the 11th..my pics are going to be taken..so i wanted to give all i could with this weeks' workouts..but now...being that I am not on anything, that PROBABLY could have made me feel a little better by Monday,(except this over the counter cough syrup)...i have a feeling that i am going to have to do these upcoming workouts coughing my head off and just feeling plain ol lousy with a soar throat and that PISSES ME OFF:)
Oh well this is life, always shooting stuff at us right at the best of times i guess. I started this workout program and menu plan so great..i was feeling awesome and full of energy..and now right before the pics..i have to kick it into high gear even feeling the way I do.(although my energy level is still ok surprisingly)
If only the doc would have given me something last night at least maybe by Monday I would have started to feel better but noooooooo!
oh well.
I cant cry over it..if it continues i will just have to go back to the clinic in a couple of days..until then.. cough syrup it is..that tastes AWFUL by the way cannot stand the stuff!
Well today is a busy day so cannot write to long...because i have to take the kids to swimming lessons, and today being Sunday I have laundry(Sunday=laundry day), with work its just too hard for me to do it during the week...and who knows what else might come up later.
But I would like to mention one good thing, this past weekend has been great in one way.I can deal with the weekends now i guess. I didn't feel hungry this weekend and on edge like all the other weekends that have passed. It just didn't bother me and I wasn't really hungry much anyways. Yesterday I had to force myself to actually eat the foods that I am suppose to take in everyday...so that is a GOOD thing. I hope all weekends will now be this way.! So I can enjoy my kids more and not be so miserable!
anyways i will be on tomorr