Friday Night at the gym...turned bad!

Hey everyone. I just finished my supper and its now 8:46 p.m. A little late but I went to the gym after work. I am still sick, cant seem to kick this cold. I have a bad cough and all congested, and my throat was hurting today and tonight... until i went to the gym. It just seems like when I go and workout my throat doesn't hurt after..strange..maybe its the heat going on inside soothes the throat.smiles
but i am sure tomorrow morning it will hurt once again. I think if it does I will be doing a visit with a local clinic.

Anyways I never did mention this but I HATE going to the gym on Friday nights. But if for some reason I miss morning, I have to go at night and since I woke up in really rough shape this morning due to my cold..I just decided to go tonight instead. But there are always younger guys there, who think they are all that, and just make people like myself who are just normal feel uncomfortable.They are just distracting, and swearing, and just talking silly.

However,the workout started off OK. I'm kind of getting used to not caring about what others think.( I really think mentally I am starting to get stronger).so i went ahead and did my warm up, my stretches and got started on my weight training...but .....right at the end where I had to do my sets of squats, the last exercise (which are the hardest I find, not sure if my trainer did that route on purpose) Some guy comes over and asked me if I was finished with the last machine. And i was like ya sure..sorry go ahead.
I always find myself apologizing for things..not sure why. And One other thing about me I am always polite and smile when i talk. Its just the way I was brought up. He actually reacted kind of snobbish..didn't even comment..and went on to do his own thing..i was like whatever. Not sure why he wasn't friendly but I had other more important things to concentrate on.

Then his friend comes along..and starts talking stupid. Actually at first I thought he was just making friendly conversation, started telling me how his friend is looking good, and how he used to be alot bigger, that how he still has a stomach but doesn't he look good'? i was like i guess ya,,,(because I wasn't sure where he was coming from)and then he just kept jabbering and telling me how he knows his father and that the two are like brothers and that his dads name is Ben or something...and he started laughing. He had like this smirk on his face.

So what started off as I thought was just conversation, I realized this guy is talking stupid with me. And he was kind of laughing etc..well...didnt that turn me the wrong way.
Even though he didn't say anything to hurt my feelings directly, it was just something in how he was talking, the look he was giving his friend, the whole situation made me really uncomfortable, not to mention mad!Now that I am older, I have seen jerks, I can smell them from far away and I just knew in my mind at that point, OK ...stay away!

So my last squats that I had to do...boy did I do them! I mean I was so angry that he did this to me...that I ended up taking it more out on my legs(which was a good thing now that i look back) but , I have to say it left me later feeling sad.

A sadness came over me. And when i was doing my cool down on the treadmill..i just thought things like...why isn't my trainer here with me?, if he was here, they wouldn't have talked to me like that. Why were they laughing? were they laughing at me?..was that guy just being sarcastic with me for fun?.to have a laugh?.at least what he thought was fun.....

At one point I just put my head down while walking on that treadmill and I just felt like i was going to cry. It was strange how that got to me. I started off on a high and all of a sudden I hit like an all time low!
Once i got into my car, not even my favorite group "Hedley" that I always listen to on my CD player .. could get me out of that quiet stage. I just found myself rehashing the whole situation, I was so quiet, feeling sad and upset. That is one thing I am going to have to learn not to do. I tend to think alot, and sometimes really analize things. Really, I should have not let a petty thing like that get to me.

But driving home I just couldn't help thinking about that whole situation, and it just started bringing back alot of memories and things i have been through in the past.I wasn't going to write about them but hey may as well write a couple at least.

I remember back in grade 7..a great time when kids are just plain ol mean..this one guy every time i took a step he would make these noises. Boom boom boom boom Something i have seen in movies ..but it happened to me..and then they would call me chunky. i can still hear them in my mind(there were only 2 boys) but they would say that..chun-ky chun-ky..chun-ky..god. Makes me tear up just thinking about it. I held that memory inside for so long. I have never even thought about it again up until tonight. I never told anyone about that or how it made me feel. The only people who knew were the people in my class that would hear it as well. Although, none of them would ever stick up for me or for a situation like that, because everyone had their own issues to worry about.

I also remember another time, i went to this party with this girlfriend at the time and her boyfriend. And when i got there with them..the friend who was having the party (the host)looked at them and me at the door and said in Italian(never realizing that I was Italian) why did you bring this cow?
Yup that's what he said. I remember feeling shocked. Because at the time I wasn't even big like now. ........................................................................
(sorry I just had to pause, and sit back for a minute a little shocked that I am even opening up about those memories that I just wrote on the screen)

I suppose there are alot of these memories that I have stored that never really surface. I mean people know me as a friendly person always smiling, not to mention in high school I always had really cute guys as friends, but yet...like many I had my share of sadness throughout my years.
And i think if anything tonight, those guys just brought it all back. I left the gym and just felt so sad. People, unless they have been in my shoes and have been overweight etc..could never understand how those remarks just kill.
Being overweight is so terrible, because its not like something you can hide. Its reality and its right out for all to see.

Anyways I don't want to talk anymore about this depressing stuff. I will leave it at that for tonight,.all i know is that I am feeling stronger. I am determined not to fail. I made it to the gym tonight, without supper, in a blizzard like weather ..lots of snow and being sick so if that doesn't tell you how determined I am..not sure what would.
My trainer and I are going to be on a local programming channel soon, and i have alot of stuff to look forward to.

I love my trainer so much. I cannot speak more highly about anyone. I think he has made me believe the fact that I can do this, its not that bad, and he is just so fantastic to talk to. I know he is going to be there every step of the way, because that is just the kind of person her is. He would never leave me hanging. He is so positive and such a believer. So sweet and understanding, he is there for me, and i feel that. I guess we were meant to meet up again.

He was someone i went to school with but never actually got close to. But I think this is a project that if anything will bond us. I think i am going to learn so much from him and this experience and I also believe that he will learn something from this/me as well.
I want to prove to him that I can do it, that i can follow direction, and most of all I want him to see me, and see all the changes he will help me make, because in the end it takes both me and him to work together. I need his experience..his own years of hard work, and he needs me to actually physically change by following his directions, because the end result will be what we both put into this. He has never actually worked with someone in the weight category as myself, so I am sure this is a great project for him as well, and you better believe that I will be letting people know about him!!! He is a person that deserves every bit of success from this, from a business stand point.

I will never forget his words when he told me, if I just needed his help to change, with no publicity stuff he would have done it for me for free anyways...because its his passion ..and you know what...I really believe that! It just shows what kind of man he really is. (My angel)

anyways I have to go I am getting way to sensitive on things tonight.
Tomorrow is a whole new day. And I am looking forward to that scale on Monday. and don't forget DECEMBER 11th...EXACTLY 1 month after photos to compare.!!!
cant wait!!
C.W.H.T.I.

Wednesday Nov, 28th 2007

Hello. Hope everyone is doing well..at least better than me. The last few days have been really tough because I am fighting off a really bad cold. damn I hate colds, however i have still got myself going to the gym like usual. surprisingly. don't even know how I have done it, but I am scared not to go now because then it might start a bad habit of not going. So because I am on a roll now, I feel like i have to get there.

This morning was tough cause it was another early one...but instead of getting up at 6:00 am and getting out the door..it was more like 6:30 am..and for me this is bad...because mornings every minute counts. So much to do, so little time, type of thing. I mean i have to get my workout in, go back home and get my daughter to school(SK)and then there are the other 2 children i have to feed, dress etc...and then of course there is myself taking my shower before work and getting my meals ready to take, beds to be made..you know..not to mention blogging;)
man..time flies..and it almost never seems like I have enough of it.

Anyways, its better this way...cause right now my problem is weekends and too much time home ...its a killer to go through. I just find especially weekends I get so like...i want to eat more..but i cant...then my nerves start..at least with work and having a busier week it takes my mind off of it for a while..so the days seems quicker to pass..and before you know it another 5 days go by. And not to mention I have a job where I am always busy..so that too helps.

Well, other than that things are well. I am staying away from the scale until next Monday, because it doesn't do me any good to weigh myself everyday, (as far as my trainer is concerned he says not to even weigh myself for at least a month..ya right! too hard for moi to do)but if i don't lose a pound...i get MAD..lol. I think of all that hard work i did the day before, and not a pound..lol. funny eh?
its crazy...so anyways I will let you know Monday where i am at.

But you know ..its interesting next time someone tells you like myself that they have lost 11 or even 10 pounds..i know it doesn't sound like much..but last night walking around the fruit and vegetable store...i looked at that bag of potatoes that were like 10 pounds..and i picked it up for fun.something we all so often do but never pay attention to..and you know what...that thing is heavy! So whether it is water that i lost or whatever...for that scale to be 11 pounds less...hey...thats alot of weight, that is alot less on my body already that it used to carry...so always keep that in mind...its crazy when you look at it that way.

I mean we don't realize how much we are actually carrying because our bodies get used to the extra weight i suppose..and it just feels normal at the time, we don't really know any different...but imagine carrying that 10 pounds and times that by lets say roughly 14 times...wow that's heavy man. I don't even know how i haven't had a heart attack yet..thank god of course!

Well, anyways my friends, I will be back on Monday and will let you know where i am at weight wise, and then i believe its one week after that i will be posting my one month after start pics...so excited! i mean I cannot wait to compare..! And,then soon after that, I am also going to be getting together with my trainer and we will be taking all those great measurments that we also did in the beginning to compare..and that too i will post as well...so we can see together in inches how much i have lost in different parts.
God forbid imagine they don't change..after all this hard work i have been putting into this whole transition thing..i think i would just freak out.lol! I think that would be my worst nightmare come true!

Speaking of nightmares one quick note..i keep having one that I am always eating like bad stuff..and saying "oh my trainer wont know"..so there i am stuffing my face..isnt that funny? I wonder why I am dreaming that...perhaps just the thought of failing is always in the back of my head. I dont know.

anyways talk to everyone later.
C.W.H.T.I

Monday November,26 2007 (2 weeks done)

Morning everyone!!
Hope everyone is doing well.
Well let me just start off by saying that last night was an awful night..and when i say awful I mean awful. Not sure why but my nerves were shot..i was really edgy...maybe its the weekend thing again cause i always find them hard..Didnt have a chance to work out, not to mention i was looking at flyer's wondering what i would be making this year for Christmas since i always have it here at my place with the family..guess the food just looked way too good..i don't know.
but I got through it none the less..drank lots of water ..lol and cursed alot and yelled alot..but today seems to be getting off to a better start.

I hit the gym this morning at 6:30 ...wow..cant believe i got up so early to go to the gym..i don't think i have ever done that in my entire life!lol
But i just thought i am better off because on the days where i have to do my weight training (which is now bumped up to 3 days a week) I find the workout longer..and with me starting work at 11:30am its just better I go in the morning...and weekends aren't good because husband works etc..so its just more convenient if i make it there Mon-Fri mornings.
Thank goodness its only 3 days a week where i have to be up so early..the other 2 days where i will just be doing cardio wont be so bad because i can be there even after 8:00am because cardio is only 30 minutes..

But it was kind of nice going in the morning...it was quiet...getting out of my car i was thinking..wow the world is so quiet at this time...I also thought that there couldn't possibly be many people here...but when i walked in..wow i was surprised that all the cardio treadmills and ellipticals were almost all taken..pretty good for 6:30 in the morning i thought.
Well ...thankfully though no one is as crazy as me to do weights at that time of the morning..half asleep ...and no breakfast..lol
That's good 'ol me...ha.
but it was fantastic...the exercises are getting alot better..i am getting to know them fairly well..and so my form is getting better i think.

And with all this stuff i have been doing I am proud to say that I am now 259 pounds..so i have lost a total of 11 pounds in my first 2 weeks.
yeahhhhhhhhhh!But you know what is even better....better than me losing 11 pounds....something that has put a real smile on my face.....I can actually already notice that my legs are taking form..that's right!!!! I know you probably think impossible..but its true! I really think that my legs are looking leaner ..not sure if its the squats or what...but I just noticed that this morning..I am soooo happy because my legs are the worst part of my body..where most of my weight gets stored.
wow..that made me so happy.
and i also think i have lost inches in other places too.
cant wait till my butt starts looking smaller..maybe it already is ..not sure..all i know is the leg thing made me oh so happy.
This working out and watching what I eat is really paying off.!!

anyways that's my 2 week update. Hope that everyone who reads this is doing great..and only 2 more weeks till i take my next set of photos..(i have never in my life been so excited to take my photos)actually i cannot stand seeing me in photos.. but I too,cannot wait to see what differences I can see in a months worth of working out...well stay tuned for that.

Anyways got to jet...need to feed the kids..who knows that they are into while i am writing this.
ciao for now.
C.W.H.T.I
:-)

Saturday nov 24 2007

Hey everyone, so this is the last weekend before weigh in on Monday. Although I must mention again that my trainer tells me to stay away till a month has past..but I just have this obsession with the scale not to mention so stubborn as hell, so i like to weigh myself once a week. I will let you know on Monday where I am exactly.
It will be 2 weeks Monday that i have tackled, only about maybe 50 something left.lol
Last night after work I did my weight training again at the gym. I have to say I was a little uncomfortable at first because I didn't realize on Friday nights that there would be alot of young guys there ...but none the less I got up the courage and went ahead with what i was assigned to do. i just have to learn still to let go of wondering what people are thinking looking at a fat person working out. Who gives a s**t! Be strong...let it go. Take charge of my own life, and if people are going to criticize oh well so be it. But I didn't notice anyone who really cared last night. so that was good. I guess its more of a mental thing if anything. But one thing i do know i am not going to let any silly comments if i ever get any hurt my performance, not worth it. I just pretend that I am a real model with an excellent body..ha

I am getting alot better at looking "bad food" in the face and being near when people are eating it. Doesn't bother me as much like it first did. I still wish...but then i think one day I will be able to enjoy the occasional pig out, its not the end of the world and god knows that food isn't going anywhere.lol

Um...also I'm actually a little under the weather at the moment. It started last night and seems tonight i have a little bit of a sore throat, little temperature but nothing a couple of Tylenol cannot fix!

Also would like to mention tonight I visited my mom and sister who brought up that I look different, its funny all this "I look different" comment from people. They haven't seen anything yet!
Must be the 4 litres of water I am drinking everyday, and not to mention since this transformation process have even let go of Pepsi(god i was addicted to that so bad) and really any sugar, salt..everything has been damn natural. Which I am not complaining. Its hard to believe how much of this "bad stuff" we as humans allow ourselves to consume, without really knowing whats in it! I would only imagine that SURE my skin and body are going to start looking somewhat different now that its not getting any of this unhealthy man made stuff.
anyways...will be on Monday morning for my 2 week update.
take care
C.W.H.T.I

Tuesday November 20th, 2007

Well today was a great day! Not sure why but i actually had lots of energy, which helped alot at work. One thing i like about my job is that its physical because i work as a housekeeper. Not that its the best job, (although the pay is good)...but right now this is something that I think will help me. Any physical extras I can get right now, all helps:) So I notice myself putting in a little more effort into my physical job then before, and more on the ball lately because of the energy I have..and instead of looking forward to that time of the day (which used to be my favorite)when our cook makes lunch for us employees ..i find myself finding other things to do which used to be my eating time..and I just enjoy my own food when i have a moment. My lunch now doesn't take 20 minutes like before..but just a few short minutes because of the smaller quantities I now eat..but I do eat more often. Sometimes its hard because even my food smells good, where it makes me want to have more of it..but its great how I know now that I am actually not hungry..and I can finally understand that, where before my stomach always spoke without thinking really, and I would just eat way too much.
I went to the gym this morning and had a great workout! I went on the elliptical..and i tell you..as time passes I am really noticing a big difference in my energy level, even concerning my daily work outs,its awesome! And at work or home I just find i can do alot more, I have a certain jump when i am doing my job now, I seem to find myself dancing around sometimes,I think I am smiling more, and just happy and easygoing..where before I just really didn't have that... also, i can keep up alot better than before when something is thrown my way,all this and to think its only been a little over a week!!! Wow, it incredible...I don't even know what i will feel like later on when i get better and more fit..but right now i am just enjoying every minute with my body changing one step at a time.

I spoke to Rob tonight(my trainer) and we went through my workout for tomorrow and we just basically re caped it all from last Saturday because I wanted to make sure that I knew everything down pat before i start ..as tomorrow I am tackling my weight training on my own..and because in the real world where people have to work..or have families..obviously I cannot expect Rob to be by my side every single day, which is good because I want him to see that I can be really strong and dedicated and can do it alone without my hand being held..so I wrote everything down..and I am really confident that tomorrow I am going to have an awesome workout!!! When Rob took time out for me to come with me to the gym last Saturday, it was so nice because he walked me through every exercise, and made sure that I understood everything from the importance of my posture to watching my body making sure that it wasn't too much and yet not too little etc..and watched me making sure I was doing the exercises right(and also joined in and did some with me)..i actually felt sore for 2 days later..but it was so fantastic, it felt good to feel sore if that makes any sense..to feel those muscles that I haven't felt in so long, surprisingly to realize that they are still there and haven't vanished! So tomorrow I am going to give it my best shot and will continue doing so until i need to change my exercise routine once again after about 5 weeks or so..but for now..3 days I do of cardio..and the other 2 I am doing the weight training, which will be bumped up as we go along I suppose. And I cannot wait!!
overall just wanted to say great day!!..love my trainer!!...and everything is working out well.
THANKS AGAIN ROB for all your support, encouragement and most of all knowledge that you are sharing with me every time we meet or talk..it means the world to me..remember when we talked about when you met your angel in the past(smiles)..well my friend ..I think i have just met mine...;-)
talk soon
C.W.H.T.I.

I"ve now finished my first week.! (not to mention 6 pounds lighter)

Ok, so I am going to do this one quick...finished my first week. Went pretty good., last night however I came face to face with my worst enemy...McDonalds...husband decides to bring home some leftovers from there that the kids didnt end up eating. Worsttttttt mistake ever!! I actually was getting hungry, and there it was...sitting, there just staring at me...so i went up to it...i looked at it...and thought for a split second..what is one bite going to do..just one bite..my trainer doesnt have to know..so i picked the hamburger up and smelled it...then i put it down..picked up a fry..smelled that..and got to the point where i even just rubbed it on my lip while deciding ok..am i going to eat this?...well at that point.."my drive" of what brought me here in the first place, and the quick thought of how great my body feels eating all the right stuff lately, came in to save me from disaster..so I grabbed it, ...and chucked it right into the garbage and even through other garbage on top of it...fiew..that was close..and did i ever give my husband a load of shit for doing that...I told him "DONT EVER BRING THAT JUNK INTO THE HOUSE AGAIN"!!! lol (poor guy)
but I didnt eat it thank god...amazing though what smells can do.

Wanted to mention that i met with my trainer on Sat morning. It was really nice. He showed me my new exercise routine, and it consisted of exercises that were to warm up, flexibility,static stretches, also some that worked the core of my body and balance...and then of course the bulk of it...certain squats using weights,wall press,cable extensions,dumbell scaption,dumbell curls,leg tri pushdown, and finally more squats to calf raise.

It was interesting to learn these different movements, and exercises..now the hardest part is going to be remembering them and how to redue them with proper positioning on my own...gee... I have to say my trainer, the way he was showing me..it was almost like an art..his structure was so impressive, I just hope i get to that one day..so perfectly structured.
So this is what I have learnt this week and also a few points that I feel i should mention that helped me get through this week..
1- having someone like my trainer behind me as extra pressure. A trainer that actually takes the time to email me, calls me if necessary..and who is there anytime i need him basically. One who treats me with respect, and believes in me..providing me with all the RIGHT tools and information.
2- I have taken it only one day at a time rather than looking at the long forcast which would descourage me like many.
3- Gym- working out I think is so important, not only for the losing weight part..but it makes me feel so relaxed afterwards, and even if you were stressed going in you walk out feeling so different, so when its time to work out, rather than look at it as oh god, got to go to the gym again!!.. I try and keep positive and focused on remembering those feelings i have when leaving, and the feeling of real satisfaction when I am done,and also keeping my mind on the body I am trying to bring out, the whole purpose of this journey. Something that WILL HAPPEN
4- Looking at this as a transformation process and most of all a learning experience. If i looked at this as just ANOTHER diet...i think i would have failed already. Instead, this time around, I am looking at it as something interesting, and just to take in as much as I can from my trainer.I mean honestly I am so lucky to have a chance like this ...and not to mention for free?? It's like I am doing a documentry on this topic and using myself as a ginney pig:-) So its real, hands on and you see change right before your eyes..awsome!! There is no way to really understand unless you live it and god knows that is what I am doing is living what most canadians and americans are living everyday!!
5- Stop eating leftovers from the kids..nevermind the money you spent on the food, nevermind that its good tasting food..when they are done..thow it out a.s.a.p.
This is something i am sure most parents can relate too..big problem..eating whatever the kids leave behind and doing this for many reasons..either way bad habit..doesnt help in losing weight at all!!

Anyways ...these few weeks coming are going to be tough ones according to my trainer...(thanks for giving me the heads up at least)he told me that because he was increasing my workouts ...automatically your body is going to react by feeling hungry..but if i can get through the next 2 weeks on top...I'll be perfect. He knows this because he goes through it everytime when its time for him to get back into shape for competition..which by the way I believe is a fact that is helping me as well, knowing he goes through this all the time, and that he can relate to me..not just by words...but he actually goes through it too..and comes out looking fucking awsome!!I had to use that word because its the only way to describe Rob's body in competition..if you havent already checked out his website..you need to..and you will see he looks great!! www.laganafitness.com
Well ..I will check back soon and let you know whats been going on.and also dont forget 3 more weeks till i post my next pics..!!! So check back! Never know might even see me in a miss fitness show one day..smiles
and p.s. I have lost so far 6 pounds..i am 264. yesssss!!
C.W.H.T.I:-))))))))

Before Shots | Here are my first photo's (taken Nov 11, 2007)

I think the only thing i like about this picture is my hair.lol..but even that is not perfect...hehe./its all good..this is only temporary




check back Dec.11.2007 for updated photos:-), Enjoy

Ok its friday...got through the first 5 days..

Ok...so i said i wouldnt write until a week,,,well decided to write tonight:)

The last 2 days have been extremely hard on me. Yesturday was my grandmothers wake, which, i was never really good at going to those types of things. When it was time to leave, I had a quick thought, would be nice to drive by a Mcdonalds drive through for a big mac..But i got through it. I had to stare at pizza twice yesturday ..smelled really good, but i didnt taste any..yeah...

Its funny as time moves on, it actually, believe it or not, is getting easier regarding my food. Dont get me wrong, you still miss the smells, you can still remember what the sauces taste like in those great fatty foods..but...the cravings seem to pass alot faster, and I am starting to understand when its just a crazing, rather then thinking I am hungry, and acting on it. And my stomach is starting to get used to the food quantities because, I noticed all of a sudden when I stop and think about it, I am not hungry. Wow? could this be real? I am so used to feeling hungry that this is just a whole different feeling I have never experienced.

Also,Surprisingly, I had 3 people tell me yesturday that I looked different. Two said i looked like i lost weight, the other said I just look different, I looked good..my face, skin...I dont know why that is. Could it be that the natural foods I have been eating are starting to take a toll on my face, my skin...could it be the 30 minutes of walking I have been starting with on the treadmill..could it be the excitment of this whole changing idea.Kind of interesting..huh..makes me wonder..
Then today I had a day off work, and so being at home was tough because it made the day longer, and basically put that with the stress of 3 kids ages 5 and under...makes it a toughy. But ..got through it.lol

One thing i have to say thats been helping so much, and if it wasnt for this reason i may have given up already. Is the fact that this time around I am not alone. I am working with someone, who is putting all their faith in me, I mean to fail would be to fail him(my trainer) as well. And if anything mentally i think that in itself keeps me more focused even if its just selfconciously.

So I keep my head up high, and remember to stay focused, think only for that day, that second, and to believe in him my trainer) and how i will see changes start to happen real soon, because believe it or not I am starting to feel them both physically and mentally, not to mention the needle dropped on the scale the other day..i know could be water..but i am down 5 pounds..so i will take anything like that:-))))

Funny quick story. I went to get my first pics developed.(my god) i was like...i dont even know if embaressed cuts it...but i was pretty shocked to say the least. I mean let me tell you, huge legs, my ancles are big..can even see marks from what my socks have left, like every little detail. Put it this way the ONLY and I mean ONLY thing I liked about those pics...was my hair..lol. Good thing i like to laugh cause really think i should be crying. Its like a friggin nightmare come true!!
Anyways I went into a local store and had them printed for my own use and of course i see this guy all the time.I go in their to buy the kids milk, diapers etc..so its like..they all know me very well. So i was really nervous like thinking..this guy is going to see my huge legs, big arms.I mean in the pic I am in really short shorts(shortest I could find..and a tank top..so all my flaws in may arms could be seen).but then i just thought..screw it..i really dont care...face it..move on... ..

so i walked in with a friend who was with me..and ordered them, the man was like "oh they will be ready in 20 minutes"..and i was like.,.."sure"..big smily me...thinking.."oh god this man doesnt know whats about to hit him".
So when returning after a few minutes..i told my friend "watch what i am going to say..."cause of course when i am embaressed my humour comes out so i walk up and ask..."hey"...(in a cheery voice, not to mention talking as if i was the sexiest woman alive and so confident..NOT)....smiling..."are my model pics ready"...i started laughing my friggin head off...man i just didnt want to be there.lol
It was so funny though, i guess you had to be there.

anyways i ran out pretty fast...and i kindly told him "you wont have to view pics like this for another month..go have a few drinks and everything will be just fine"..i think he thought i was crazy.hehehe

anyways..thats my funny..embaressing moment i thought i would share with you all...and just to mention soon i am going to post my first pics.Just thought I would give you a warning before to prepare take a deep breath and .i suggest you have a few drinks..or whatever you need to take to relax ..dont be scared and just remember...I am doing this for me...for my trainer...and for all those who think they need to change something, no matter what it is, but yet think they cant.Because if I can go from 270lbs(what you are about to see in my photos) to 125lbs,with 20 % body fat, that is like 145lbs(thats just crazy shit)then believe me, anyone can make a change! You can..I can ...you just have to believe. This is so real...nothing fake about it...and we are all going to witness me changing together. Every month i will post new photos so you all (including myself)can keep track of how i am doing, its going to be an amazing journey:)
talk soon
C.W.H.T.I.

Morning of my 3rd day on baseline diet

ok just a quick post..last 2 days felt great, full of energy, hope, smiles....and this morning...all of a sudden it hit me. A friend sent me a evite for a Christmas party..one of the things highlighted was the FOOD part..damn...i cannot go...this morning I'm just feeling a little week...i will not cheat however..i have these pics in my head at this moment with all BAD stuff..I have to take my daughter and son to the clinic this morning and its at a local superstore....and to be honest, I don't know why thinking about it..i just thought how nice it would have been to go into the superstore part(grocery) and get some food...lol

Damn..that's my new word today. shitty on me man. Oh well..im going to make myself go to the gym later this morning to not think about this. I was going to skip it for today, however with me feeling like this, once I bring the kids home i am heading out there..nothing a walk on the treadmill cannot fix... before i head off to work ...I HOPE:-((((((

Where do I stand right now..

Hey everyone...ok, so yesterday was November 12, 2007...the first day of of starting my transformation project.
Well lets just say i made it through my first day.ha.
As far as where my diet is concerned, what I am doing right now is what my trainer is calling "a baseline diet". What is a baseline diet? Well in my trainers exact words..

"When your body is programmed to store fat, which is what yours is programmed to do, you have to limit yourself to certain foods. This is done, so that you have a baseline strategy, to determine what foods are causing you to store fat. Everyone is different in this respect. The more overweight you are, the more you have to start eating basics. This re-programming, is essential to get your body back to burning fat. The foods I chose for you, are to produce only the most efficient energy, during it's adjustment back to a fat burning machine. Once, your body responds the way it should, the next stage is to adjust the diet.Whether this means, exchanging different foods, or adjusting the ratio of carbs, to protein, to fats. It will be adjusted according to the internal feedback your body is going to give you, and along with my professional training experience will use that to adjust it in the right way."

Thank you Rob for those words. So right now my personal baseline diet consists of natural oatmeal,1%milk, a couple of different fruits,dark rye bread,Large whole wheat pita bread,mustard,turkey, chicken,yogurt,almonds,broccoli, and greenpepper.I believe i got everything.Oh and i cannot forget to mention drinking lots and lots and lots of water....

So how did I do on my first day you might be wondering? Well i am going to tell you anyways..not bad..a little hungry because I am so used to filling my stomach until its so full and comfortable where i find with this diet, there is always room left to still be feeling a little hungry,as now I am eating small meals every 3 hours,instead of huge ones something i guess i need to get accustomed to. My energy level surprised me because I felt(even being the fact that i was eating different) that I had a lot of energy!

As far as exercise, I am not really expected to do much this month..in terms of cardio.I was surprised when i heard that one. I guess just like the baseline food diet..i will be doing certain exercises using what I think is called a medicine ball, and some weights, again to get my body ready for kick ass routine which i am sure Rob will do for me later.:-)
But according to my trainer I will still lose weight doing those exercises. So, i guess we will see. However because I wanted to I started some kind of cardio i am walking on the treadmill. This is my own decision. I know I dont have to, but it makes me feel better and gets me in the right frame of mind. Not to mention that I felt so weird not doing anything until this Friday when i meet with my trainer and he shows me and walks me through my workout routine.

But overall I feel good! I will check back now in about a week and see how i feel then.And to let you know about what rob tells me I will be doing for my exercise routine!

Thanks for reading!

Changing my body from Obese to....?

Hey there. Tonight I just finished taking a shower and just sat down to start my blog. I would like to introduce myself first, by saying that I am a Canadian woman, who came up with a crazy idea, of taking on a challenge of changing my body from being Obese(275lbs) to.........?

The reason why i left the end blank is because this is the start of a journey I would like to share with everyone, not sure where it will end, I know where I want it to end.... but in the meantime there will be so much in between that we have to get through first..all that I want share with you! I invite everyone to follow me in this journey. I am hoping to inspire many.

A little bit about myself, I am 33 years of age, married,3 children, work part time..I guess average in that respect. In regards to this transformation idea, I was able to have a great trainer/friend/professional bodybuilder hop on board aside me and to share his expertise with me during my personal project.. and I am so excited to get started!! Working together we are going to prove to everyone, that with the right tools, anyone if they want it bad enough can do what I am about to do.

Its going to be amazing to be able to see first hand changes in my body that I haven't seen ever, pushing it to how far it will go, or how far I can take it. Being the fact that if you take into consideration I am 5"4 in height, my goal is to get down to 125 pounds, with a 20% healthy body fat. Think I can do it? Well lets gooooooo....!!!